Fairweather

Hello.

Taylor Swift. I would sell my left kidney for a bottle of her fart. Then on my deathbed 50 years hence, I would inhale that bottle with my last breath and die a happy man.

Mother-in-law won't go home. So hungry. Don't want to go downstairs. Please send cookies.

I feel better, so much better. Thank you Doc for taking all the ouches away! I didn't feel so good til, you fixed me like I knew that you would...

Gas price @ my local Costco. $1.79.

"Will you be having kids at the wedding?" "No, I think we'll wait until after..."

If you're looking for the quickest way to achieve a thigh gap, it's no more complicated than chopping off one of your legs

What are the odds?

i'm 1st time online in many month and steam decides to freaking make routin maintenance

I'll make my OWN FragFest! With Blackjack! And..ahh, screw it.

OK. From this point forward I will continue to warn people about pro bashing. i.e. complaining about general. It interferes with the game and is clashified as greifing. Until told otherwise, you will be warned. If that not enough, you will be banned.

Ball peen hammers are great, because they have the words 'ball' and 'peen', and have the added benefit of actually being a hammer.

Loving GamersCoalition so far, great bunch of people everyone seems friendly.

Wow... pretty cold here today. Only reached 74 degrees. Had to bring the extra warm towel to the pool.

Cattle Bruiser operational

Pew Pew

Have you ever been so pooped that you accidentally flushed yourself?

Some people have photographic memories. I have a photogenic memory, which means you all look better in my head.

A change has been made to the forums. Use it well or it will be disabled again...

A change has been made to the forums. Use it well or it will be disabled again...

According to the Love Calculator, I have a 17% chance of having a successful relationship with myself.

I don't wish to alarm you, but I'm naked under these clothes.

Went to a party. They told me i could drink for free (fans of my music). One very bad hangover later i somehow tore the ligaments on my left ankle

Thomas the Tank Engine got chicken pox, or, as the engineers call it, Trainspotting.