As if things were not bad enough.

[wayfarer]

There are some people in these forums that are good aquaintences, there are

also some that I would feel comfortable calling friends. No one knows anything

about the struggles I am facing, I have purposely kept everyone in the dark because

my burden is heavy. That has recently changed, because the burden has become

too much. I did not feel it nessisary for anyone to know what is going on in my life,

so I let it be. If I have offended anyone by doing this I apoligize.

 

In November of 2001 I lost my dad to Lou Gehrig's disease. If anyone has ever

had to face this terriffing ordeal they have some idea of how completely destructive

it is on everyone's whose lives are involved. For those that are unaware, this disease

attacks the nerves connecting to the muscles. The condition gradually gets worse

destroying the muscles as it progresses, leaving a person completely helpless, and

eventually killing them.

 

My father's condition was/is genetic. Last April (2005) I lost my brother to the same syndrom.

Both of my sisters have been diagnosed with this, and are fighting it the best they can.

In 2003 I was also diagnosed with this same affliction. Although I am not as dibilitated

as the rest of my family, I nevertheless was forced into disability from work in August of

2005. I feel the swimming I have been doing is incredilby positive counteraction against

this disease, if only because of it's anti-aging effects.

 

Two weeks ago my mother, a lifelong smoker and the only real healthy member of

our family, had a little "fainting episode" My sister and I took her to emergency at the

hospital where she stayed for over a week while they ran tests. The little "episode"

turned out to be a mini-stroke. On top of that they have found a tumer sitting on top

of her lungs. She has not been able to keep her oxygen level at proper levels since

we got her in the hospital and has thus been on oxygen at my home. Last week she had

a biopsy done on the tumer and it was noted that it was actually penitrating the right lung.

She was supposed to see a specialist this wednesday for a diagnosis of weather the lump

is carcinogenic or not. (cancer) My mother was on an oxygen level of 2 (out of 10)

when we brought her home from the hospital. She has since had her level increased

twice, first to three and then to four. Four is no longer working as the tips of her ears

and toes are turning blue, and she has absoloutly no energy whatsoever. At this point

in time I am fearing the worst, and could really use your prayers in this matter.

 

*edit* The resperatory therapist arrived and tried level 5 oxygen with no

apparent effect. An ambulnace arrived and put her on level 6 oxygen to

transport her to emergency.

 

I know this is a tough pill to swallow for anyone hearing all this for the first

time, and I really apoligize to anyone reading this. I am a God-fearing man

that has been given (thankfully) more than his fair share of will to deal with

these things, but everyone has their breaking point. I don't know where to go

or who to turn to for comfort. I don't really have any close friends, My sisters

are tied up with their families. I just recently began attending church again

in a new faith (Lutheran instead of Catholic), and I have no significant other.

I have in the last year made Gamers Colaition my home, and this is the place

I usually come to forget my problems. I truly needed this release. I hope this

does not burden anyone, that is not my intention.

[Leveller]

Wayfarer, this was my first time hearing any of the above and whilst I have suffered losses and difficulty in my life at times, I can in no way claim to comprehend what you must have been going through for the last 3 years.

 

For what it is worth, my thoughts are with you and those close to you.

[ConGregation]

wow. Makes my 'bad' day look a little different.

 

A word of encouragement. Take it for what it is. In no way am I saying I know what you are going through or that I have the answers you need. Just hoping maybe this thought or words my help a little.

 

Sometimes the breaking point can be a good thing. Because we fully realize the scripture that says "Underneath are the everlasting arms". Sometimes we have to "Let go, and let God"

 

Praying for you and your mom.

[MrDuke]

Way,

 

I cannot imagine the pain of having so many family members suffering from life-threatening illnesses. I am sorry for the pain you are feeling.

Find comfort in Him. I can truly attest to this fact; even in your darkest and worst times, He is there. Let Him scoop you up in His arms and let Him shelter you from your fears. Be stronger because of Him and radiate His love and compassion.

 

I am more than willing to reciprocate your compassion, concern, thoughts and prayers. You were there for me, cheering me on during some of the worst times I've ever experienced and I will do the same for you. Please know that you can talk with me about anything at anytime.

 

You're gonna get knocked down, no doubt. We'll help you stand up and dust yourself off... everytime.

[J. Dunlavy]

You're in my prayers, dude. And here I've been stressing about paltry crap like work... it's easy to forget that some people have much more significant problems.

 

Remember: Faith can move a mountain.

[whudats]

No need to apologize at all, Way. Absolutely. This is what we are here for - so much more than gaming.

 

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

[witt]

It pains me to hear that Wayfarer. I think it's important, and very big of you, to let it all hang out. I know I may not be your closest friend in GC, but feel free to chat with me on ts or anywhere if you need someone to talk to. I've had difficult times, and I know how much better it can make a person feel just to talk. I will keep you and your family members in my thoughts and prayers. Stay strong.

[w8t4time]

stay strong keep swimming eat healthy foods stay away from stuff that will bring you down!

 

my best wishes for you and your family don't know what else to say?!

 

I can't imagine the weight you carry right now but it must feel a little better to let it out here? just putting things out of your mind and into words can help you deal with the situation with a more level head.

 

take care of yourself wayfarer!

Peace!

a lot of people care about you stay strong!

[wayfarer]

I Got home late last night, and was out again early this morning. My mother had her

right lung drained of fluid last night. 600 cc worth. For those that don't

know it looked pretty close to a litre to me. (roughly 1/4 gallon) She is

now down to level 3 oxygen and seems to be doing better, though she's very tired.

The doctor came in and finally gave some insight as to whats going on. Although

the biopsy results are still in progress, the docter said from his experience it looked

like cancer, and they are now awaiting final determination of the biopsy to decide

a course of action. He said surgery is out because of location and because the mass

is secreting fluid. Chemo & radiation treatment will be the likely next steps, but which

route still needs to be determined.

 

THANK-YOU everyone who posted up here & sent me PM's, I was really

upset yesterday, and your heartfelt responses were very supportive. I know

things are not better, but I feel the Lord strengthening my resolve. God bless.

[Ice_Berge_00]

I'm not certain that I can fully understand what you're going through, but my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. The important thing is that you're able to gain strength and comfort from those around you and this community. It takes a lot of courage to talk about what you're going through. Anytime you want to talk, vent or whatever you know that we're here for you.

 

God will always be with you and so will everyone here.

[MrDuke]

Update?

 

No hurry, I know your plate is full.

[shep48]

way, rebecca and I are praying for you and your family.

 

Immediately I think of fixing it, thats just me and how I think, theres a problem fix it. Its hard for me to comprehend a condition that does not currently have a cure.

 

I have "lost" or looked away from god a couple of times in my life. only to find him in a couple of incidents that brought me to my knees. He is there. I dont understand the "why things happen". but I know ask and you shall recieve, knock and the door will open for you.

our prayers are with you Way

 

here is some leading research http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/hmn/sp00/Feature1.html

[wayfarer]

Thank-You guys, I really feel comforted by your posts. Talked with

the doctor today with more insight. It is definately cancer. Small cell

cancer, which is much easier to treat. Chemotherapy is going to be the

next step and the doctor spoke very positive of the outcome. My mother

was in much better spirits today, we took her outside for about 1/2 an hour.

I'm really thankful for this space to reach out, and you guys caught me

with both arms. Thank-You!!

 

P.S. I have been away from customs for WAY too long. I'll be there this Saturday.

[YoMamma]

Im sorry about your mothers situation, but Im glad everything is looking a little better for her now then over the past month, wayf. I wish good health for the both of you.

Edited May 11, 2006 by YoMamma

[whudats]

That's good news bro. We'll keep praying for you guys...

[*BiGBonES**]

you got a friend here wayfarer. Keep your head up and keep supporting your mother. I'll wish you and your mother the best of luck!

[wayfarer]

Thank-you to everyone praying for my mother and my family.

Yesterday was a doozy to say the least! My mother started her chemotherapy

on Tuesday. She was to have 3 five hour sessions respectively for Tues.

Wed. and Thurs. I have been going up to the hospital in the afternoon's

while my sister has been going up in the mornings. Yesterday around 9:10AM

my sister called me in tears and told me to round up the family and get into

the hospital ASAP. When I arrived I was told the doctor had requested this

because my mother was on the way out, and it was not going to be long.

My mother had an adverse reaction to the chemo and was not flushing it out of her body.

Her face swelled up to resemble something from a Rocky movie, though much worse.

I just joined my church, so I did'nt know any phone numbers or anything

to get in touch with some of my clergy. I asked at the nurses desk for an in-house

clergy. Upon arrival he led us, in prayer, then asked if I would like him to contact

my pastor. I jumped at the chance, realizing that he tracks these people down all the time.

The next several hours blurred past us as we watched and waited for the inevitable. After

several updates, I was told the pastor would be about 1/2 an hour. (this was around 2:00PM)

I had read something in the Bible a couple of days ago that I remembered would give me

strength during the more gut-wrenching episodes, but I could not find it no matter how hard I

looked. Around 2:15PM the nurse did some double checking and brought my sister and myself

out of the room. She informed us she was no longer getting any reflexive response from the

toes and fingers and that they were turning blue. She then began instructing us on how we should

handle my mothers final requests.

 

The pastor finally arrived around 2:30PM. He led us in prayer, and read a couple of verses

of scripture, to offer comfort to my mother, completely coherent throughout everything.

I asked the pastor about the verse I was looking for, although he tried valiantly to find it,

it was not to be found. My mother, barely able to speak, finally gestured to one of my sisters

to come over and, after several attempts, realized my mother was saying "I love you" She then gestured

to my other sister, then myself to say goodbye.

 

God is like a rock, unto the very end. I finally found the piece of scripture I was looking

for;

Psalm 50:15 And call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me.

My pastor and I left the room for a quiet prayer. When we returned my mother seemed

to have renewed energy, and was now declining offers of more morphine. She was

consuming more ice, water by this point being difficult because her mouth is so swollen.

The pastor led us in final prayers before he left, and gave me several telephone numbers

where I can contact him in the future. After he left my mother's renewed vigor, although

only slight till now, seemed to gush forth like a spring. She began eating a lot more

ice, had 1/2 a popsicle, and an entire bowl of broth. ( she had not eaten since lunch time

the day prior, and has not had any solid food for at least a week.) She began to urinate. (she has a cathitor in place)

Although that might sound gross, anyone who has been in this situation knows that is an

absoloutly fantastic sign! The nurse came in and re-checked her feet and fingers, which

by now were pink and very reactive to touch. The doctor came in and reaffirmed that

indeed it looks like my mother is in this fight to win, and immediately stated once my mother's

blood cell counts are back up in couple of weeks we will try again. As I am writing this,

my mother has been upgraded to poor but stable, and seems to be resting comfortably.

 

I thought I was strong in faith yesterday. God has shown me I was not, and has redoubled it.

What an incredible thing to witness one of the Father Almighty's miracles. I am now returning

to the hospital, I will post more as it comes. Thank-You to everyone who is praying, I know

it is working.

[CowboyFromHell`X]

Way you have to be one of the strongest people I've seen. The way you noted the positives. The way you're thinking about the positives with God by your side means you are very strong and confident. I will continue to pray for the strength of you and your family.

 

My aunt passed away last year from cancer. What your mother needs most is you and your family by her side, which you are doing. Also prayer is a good thing and provides comfort and you having the pastor notified and staying with your mother was a very noble thing.

 

Keep your spirits up and be one with Jesus!! In that, no situation will seem too strong to overcome.

Edited May 20, 2006 by CowboyFromHell

[MrDuke]

Luv ya, Way.

 

Stay strong and find strength in God.

[wayfarer]

My mother is doing much better, but "cautious optimisim" are the words of

the past day or two. The doctor said this is what happened;

The two chemo doses pounded her up pretty bad, but seems it did the

same to the cancer. The reason my mother swelled up so badly was because

the mass in her chest was blocking off some main arteries, thus not

allowing fluids to drain. (this really does'nt make sense to me, but I'm

not the doctor) The chemo shrunk the mass enough to allow, not only the

fluids to pass, but also easier airway access in the right lung. He said this

is a very good sign for the near future, as the chemo seems to be very effective

against the cancer, and he also said my mother is not likely to have a really bad

reaction like that again.

The swelling has come down quite a bit and her spirits are quite high. This is

the most positive I have felt about the entire situation for a long time. My mother

is one really tough cookie. She picked herself up a lot faster then I would have

I think. She is scheduled to go to Princess Magaret hospital (downtown Toronto)

on Tuesday for a prep for radiation treatment. After that she will have to attempt

the chemo again in 2 weeks. She's going to need all that strength soon I think.

When I get more info I'll post it. God bless.

[Ice_Berge_00]

When I was reading your update I was uplifted by the news. Sometimes we get reminders and surprises in the power of faith.

 

I'm sure there's a long road but it's always good to hear that things have improved. You all are in my throughs and prayers.

[wayfarer]

My mother has recovered tremendously over the last week. She is

at my home now and is gaining strength for the second round of

chemo which starts Tueday June 6. I have not updated recently because

everything has been well. Although the doctors don't expect any further

complications with the chemo, next Tuesday is D-day so to speak.

[Wolfsblood]

Wayfarer, I just found this thread. I want you to know that you and your family are in our prayers. I knew none of this when I met you this past weekend at FF, and given your smiling, upbeat attitude all weekend nobody would guess at the trials you and your family are going through. Truely God has you and you family in the palms of His hands. Trust in His strength.

 

God Bless you and yours, and hope to see you again next year at FF, and in the servers.

 

Wolfsblood.

[becca48]

im really glad to hear that your mom is doing better. I was really glad that i was able to talk to you more about everything. that really helped me understand a lot more. you are always going to me in my prayers.

[Preacher]

Sharing personal lives with strangers is usually easier than with those you actually have in your life on a day to day basis, but when going through so many things at once I suggest you find someone who is near you to rely on for council. I hope you would have a close friend in or outside of your family to do this with, but if not approach your pastor/youth pastor if they are the type that is approachable and spend some time with them. Vanting is good but sometimes just being in the room with someone who would listen if you did decide to talk is enough to give some sence of peace. My prayers are with you man but seek God in all things. Like Duke said, it's the only way to really make any sense of these things.

 

God bless you