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My attempt at writing.


Ringadon

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(edited)

I'm currently trying my hand at writing a short detective satire. I've gotten 2 installments of it up on my Deviantart page

and I'm looking for some feedback. Now I realize that it's probably sub par work but that's why I'm trying to get input because I know that I can't manage to become a better writer until I know what I'm doing right and wrong. So any sort of constructive comment is appreciated.

 

Ring

Edited by Ringadon
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I'll try to remember to read this when I'm not at work.

Ring, one way to improve your writing is to sign up at ficlets.com

It's a website where you are only allowed 1024 characters per story (including spaces and punctuation). It's an incredible way to teach yourself how to tell a story with the minimum amount of necessary information.

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Ok, I read those 2 chapters. You had some good details in your writing but I think you need to organize your thoughts more before you write it all out. It seemed to me you wrote this all at once without really thinking about what you were trying to do and as you got a new idea you stuck it in there every if it didn't flow quite so well. Basicly I'd recommend writing down all your thoughts first before you begin writing that way you should be able to make the story flow easier and make it easier for the reader to follow and get into the story. The first part seemed choppy and skipped back and forth not really flowing together but the second chapter seemed to improve. Just my two cents.

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