Jump to content

Ladies, please read


shaftiel

Recommended Posts

MAN RULES, RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE

 

THESE ARE OUR RULES!

 

PLEASE NOTE. THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED #1 ON PURPOSE!

 

1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.

 

1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

 

1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.

 

1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:

- SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!

- STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!

- OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!

-- PLEASE, JUST SAY IT!

 

1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.

 

1. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO. THAT'S WHY YOU PICKED US. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.

 

1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.

 

1. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE OVERWEIGHT, YOU PROBABLY ARE. DON'T ASK US.

 

1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.

 

1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE. NOT BOTH. IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF. WE THINK THAT'S COOL!

 

1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.

 

1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE...

 

1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS. PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

 

1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY 'NOTHING' WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING TRULY IS WRONG. WE KNOW IT MIGHT NOT BE TRUE, BUT IF REALLY YOU WANTED TO TELL US YOU WOULD.

 

1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR..

 

1. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO HEAR WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT WHICH IS EITHER SEX OR FOOD OR A VIDEO GAME

 

1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH BLUE JEANS. AND IF YOU CAN'T GET RID OF OLD CLOTHES, THEN YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.

 

1. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.

 

1. POTATO IS A VEGETABLE.

 

1. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT.. BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON'T MIND THAT? WHY DO YOU THINK WE BOUGHT A COMFORTABLE COUCH

 

 

^^^ Truth

 

Shaftiel

  • Like 8
Link to comment
Share on other sites

i'm going to keep my mouth shut on this one... but i feel like less and less of a male every day

 

and you know... I'm completely fine with that.

 

 

 

but i will say, you're not fat unless you can't fit through the door. please eat something. I swear this entire world is anorexic

Link to comment
Share on other sites

MAN RULES, RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE

 

THESE ARE OUR RULES!

 

PLEASE NOTE. THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED #1 ON PURPOSE!

 

1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.

 

1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

 

1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.

 

1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:

- SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!

- STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!

- OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!

-- PLEASE, JUST SAY IT!

 

1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.

 

1. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO. THAT'S WHY YOU PICKED US. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.

 

1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.

 

1. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE OVERWEIGHT, YOU PROBABLY ARE. DON'T ASK US.

 

1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.

 

1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE. NOT BOTH. IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF. WE THINK THAT'S COOL!

 

1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.

 

1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE...

 

1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS. PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

 

1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY 'NOTHING' WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING TRULY IS WRONG. WE KNOW IT MIGHT NOT BE TRUE, BUT IF REALLY YOU WANTED TO TELL US YOU WOULD.

 

1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR..

 

1. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO HEAR WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT WHICH IS EITHER SEX OR FOOD OR A VIDEO GAME

 

1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH BLUE JEANS. AND IF YOU CAN'T GET RID OF OLD CLOTHES, THEN YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.

 

1. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.

 

1. POTATO IS A VEGETABLE.

 

1. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT.. BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON'T MIND THAT? WHY DO YOU THINK WE BOUGHT A COMFORTABLE COUCH

 

 

^^^ Truth

 

Shaftiel

 

THIS.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
×
  • Create New...