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MrMonkey

Understanding the opposite sex

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Since I know that this will always be something that people have plenty of opinions on, go for it. I'm on my second marriage and I am absolutely convinced that I will never understand women...

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Oh man, this topic is going to take off like wildfire. Good thing only a select few of us check Wonderland :D

 

Women will always drift towards the "bad guy" but they can't help it because subconsciously, that's what their mind is telling them. Anyone who is nice, or friendly is perceived as "weak" in their minds so they're naturally filtered out into the friendzone. Some days, I'm convinced that I created the friendzone lol. I've been doing a lot of reading on the topic of women (from a scientific standpoint) and I've learned a few things that seem to make sense.

 

 
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http://youtu.be/-4EDhdAHrOg

 

This about sums up the conversation portion of it!  I know what you mean Turn, whether you realize it now or not...that situation actually makes you more vulnerable to fall for someone again quickly. Be Careful out there!

 

 

Women will always drift towards the "bad guy" but they can't help it because subconsciously, that's what their mind is telling them. Anyone who is nice, or friendly is perceived as "weak" in their minds so they're naturally filtered out into the friendzone. Some days, I'm convinced that I created the friendzone lol. I've been doing a lot of reading on the topic of women (from a scientific standpoint) and I've learned a few things that seem to make sense.

 

I have seen that a lot and the other side is that women that convince themselves they don't want the bad guys any more...don't even know how to treat a guy that is sweet to them and actually cares for them.  They eventually drive this guy off by constantly taking advantage of them or push him into being the A-hole that they really wanted.  Either option does not end well.

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http://youtu.be/-4EDhdAHrOg

 

This about sums up the conversation portion of it!  I know what you mean Turn, whether you realize it now or not...that situation actually makes you more vulnerable to fall for someone again quickly. Be Careful out there!

 

 

Women will always drift towards the "bad guy" but they can't help it because subconsciously, that's what their mind is telling them. Anyone who is nice, or friendly is perceived as "weak" in their minds so they're naturally filtered out into the friendzone. Some days, I'm convinced that I created the friendzone lol. I've been doing a lot of reading on the topic of women (from a scientific standpoint) and I've learned a few things that seem to make sense.

 

I have seen that a lot and the other side is that women that convince themselves they don't want the bad guys any more...don't even know how to treat a guy that is sweet to them and actually cares for them.  They eventually drive this guy off by constantly taking advantage of them or push him into being the A-hole that they really wanted.  Either option does not end well.

Sums up a lot of my problems.  My marriage ended with everyone in disbelief.   She couldn't answer to anyone as to why.  Oh we fought but 90% of that was the months that followed her announcing her desire to take a new path.  A fight I wouldn't have fought nearly as hard I did had my kids not been involved.  I understand why she's doing it ....but can't understand how she can be so callous considering I gave her no normal reason for divorce.  She's doing it out of her on selfish wants.  Children be damned I suppose.  I have no understanding of that opposite sex.

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http://youtu.be/-4EDhdAHrOg

 

This about sums up the conversation portion of it!  I know what you mean Turn, whether you realize it now or not...that situation actually makes you more vulnerable to fall for someone again quickly. Be Careful out there!

 

 

Women will always drift towards the "bad guy" but they can't help it because subconsciously, that's what their mind is telling them. Anyone who is nice, or friendly is perceived as "weak" in their minds so they're naturally filtered out into the friendzone. Some days, I'm convinced that I created the friendzone lol. I've been doing a lot of reading on the topic of women (from a scientific standpoint) and I've learned a few things that seem to make sense.

 

I have seen that a lot and the other side is that women that convince themselves they don't want the bad guys any more...don't even know how to treat a guy that is sweet to them and actually cares for them.  They eventually drive this guy off by constantly taking advantage of them or push him into being the A-hole that they really wanted.  Either option does not end well.

Sums up a lot of my problems.  My marriage ended with everyone in disbelief.   She couldn't answer to anyone as to why.  Oh we fought but 90% of that was the months that followed her announcing her desire to take a new path.  A fight I wouldn't have fought nearly as hard I did had my kids not been involved.  I understand why she's doing it ....but can't understand how she can be so callous considering I gave her no normal reason for divorce.  She's doing it out of her on selfish wants.  Children be damned I suppose.  I have no understanding of that opposite sex.

 

 

 

I'm sorry to hear that turnbull, sometimes I can't believe what adults are capable of especially when they have children. I have a co-worker who is in a similar situation. Nicest guy in the world, hardworker, great father and doesn't have any bad habbits. One day his g/f (they have kids but were never married) decides she wants to lead a 2nd life and tells him she has cancer (a lie). When she needed "treatment" she would always ask him to stay home with the kids because she didn't want him to see her in that state. Meanwhile, she was draining the bank accounts, going on trips, meeting up with other men and doing who knows what. Fast-forward to today, she's hitting him up for alimony even though her family is well off financially.

 

I'm convinced that when women want something be it logical or illogical, there is no convincing them out of it. My last relationship fell apart because of that type of problem.

Edited by Xterminator

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I have found myself attracting men who are barely making minimum wage, or those who are still living in their parent's basement and not doing anything with their time.  Finding out either of these things has made me quickly move on...I just don't understand why someone who's 40 years old has no pride and doesn't seem to have any embarrassment relying on their folks to do their laundry (seriously wth).  People fall on hard times, I get that (I went through hard times after my divorce) but cripes, pull yourself up by your bootstraps and at least attempt to take care of yourself and your kids.  I reestablished myself (yes it takes time), but I would have never told my kid, hey, we're gonna move in with grandma or a one-room apartment with a bunch of people too lazy to get a job.  I worked my donkey off to avoid that.  I don't understand why people throw their hands up in the air so easily.  I'm only talking about the people who could make it better for themselves and their kids, and choose not to.  There is so much laziness out there.  And I'm talking both men and women.  :Disappointed_anim:

 

/end-rant

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Ok here ya go.  I don't understand the opposite sex..... we agreed that I would make car payment , continued car insurance ( cars in my name.....for a while yet)   help pay for kids school clothes , I have health insurance and separate accidental life insurance on the kids and  I give her gas money every now and then if we don't meet in the middle for kid exchange. I get the kids EVERYWEEKEND(hooray for that).   

 

Well her job is crap and she's been asking for gas money even when we meet half way and this weekend she brought to the exchange  4 large trash bags full of clothes (hers and the kids including undergarments)  Wants me to wash them all for her over the weekend.....  wth woman you ripped my heart out, stomped on it, seperated my family  and enlisted my kids in a below average school....all of which I'm still steaming over.....and you want me to wash all your clothes......  She doesn't understand why I'm abject to doing this and  I don't understand the opposite sex.

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Ok here ya go.  I don't understand the opposite sex..... we agreed that I would make car payment , continued car insurance ( cars in my name.....for a while yet)   help pay for kids school clothes , I have health insurance and separate accidental life insurance on the kids and  I give her gas money every now and then if we don't meet in the middle for kid exchange. I get the kids EVERYWEEKEND(hooray for that).   

 

Well her job is crap and she's been asking for gas money even when we meet half way and this weekend she brought to the exchange  4 large trash bags full of clothes (hers and the kids including undergarments)  Wants me to wash them all for her over the weekend.....  WTH woman you ripped my heart out, stomped on it, seperated my family  and enlisted my kids in a below average school....all of which I'm still steaming over.....and you want me to wash all your clothes......  She doesn't understand why I'm abject to doing this and  I don't understand the opposite sex.

 

That's pretty low on her part. I'd have asked her which bags are the kids clothes and only take those. If she can't take the time to do something as simple as laundry, she probably has many more issues you're not aware of. If this starts to get out of hand and she gets worse, you should really consider going for full custody. Something tells me you'd win that battle in court very easily.

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Ok here ya go.  I don't understand the opposite sex..... we agreed that I would make car payment , continued car insurance ( cars in my name.....for a while yet)   help pay for kids school clothes , I have health insurance and separate accidental life insurance on the kids and  I give her gas money every now and then if we don't meet in the middle for kid exchange. I get the kids EVERYWEEKEND(hooray for that).   

 

Well her job is crap and she's been asking for gas money even when we meet half way and this weekend she brought to the exchange  4 large trash bags full of clothes (hers and the kids including undergarments)  Wants me to wash them all for her over the weekend.....  WTH woman you ripped my heart out, stomped on it, seperated my family  and enlisted my kids in a below average school....all of which I'm still steaming over.....and you want me to wash all your clothes......  She doesn't understand why I'm abject to doing this and  I don't understand the opposite sex.

 

That's pretty low on her part. I'd have asked her which bags are the kids clothes and only take those. If she can't take the time to do something as simple as laundry, she probably has many more issues you're not aware of. If this starts to get out of hand and she gets worse, you should really consider going for full custody. Something tells me you'd win that battle in court very easily.

 

I have had lawyers tell me I've got a "good" chance but here in NC the woman basically has to be complete garbage  to lose her children.  Now if I find out they are in poor living conditions  I'll get SS involved and take my kids the easy way.  If her living is unfit then I'll get custody automatically as long as my abode is in order which its pretty much spotless atm and has been since she left.

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Neurotic pains in the neck are nothing new, but we're finding more and more of them out there.  The trouble is not limited to relationships, but involves a pervasive, malignant attitude problem that isn't gender specific.

 

The problem is the narcissism that our society promotes these days.  Ever since the tail end of Gen X, where I fit in, kids have been told that they're all unique and special and encouraged to 'just be yourself'.  Good intentions aside, that attitude promotes the idea that you are fine the way you are and anyone who has a problem with that is a bully.  Peer pressure has been demonzied as a force that results in drug addictions and teen pregnancy, but we've forgotten that social scorn is also a strong motivator to discourage antisocial behavior.  Think back on how 1990s culture maligned conformity and glorified individuality.  We're now feeling the effects of that.  People think they're entitled to do what suits them best and that everyone else is obligated to adapt to their needs or they're just selfish.  People like that have always existed (they're called A-holes), but now it's expanded beyond mere attitude problems to a lifestyle choice for huge quantities of people.

 

There are a ton of people out there who are single for a reason and they assume it's because everyone else is the problem.  That's a horrifying conclusion to arrive at, but it's the truth.  You can't imagine how many guys I know who would rather pick the low hanging fruit because of the lack of personal responsibility involved than really work hard to be a better person and find a relationship that will make both parties happier and stronger.  Many of those same people have also had to deal with infidelity since their partners eventually grow up and, as a result, feel trapped in a short-sighted and immature life that they no longer want.  Building a relationship upon such a poor foundation is like painting over rust and I'm astonished how few people understand that.

 

I can't really speak for what kind of crackpots women deal with out there as a result of all this malarkey, but I know men have to deal with a bunch of 9-year-olds trapped in women's bodies who think the world owes them something because they were born pretty (again, something that results from luck, not effort).

 

In my experience, the only way to really succeed in love, and in life, is to cast aside contentment and always question your worth.  That struggle for self-improvement is good for the heart and soul.

Edited by VladPiranha
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Ok here ya go.  I don't understand the opposite sex..... we agreed that I would make car payment , continued car insurance ( cars in my name.....for a while yet)   help pay for kids school clothes , I have health insurance and separate accidental life insurance on the kids and  I give her gas money every now and then if we don't meet in the middle for kid exchange. I get the kids EVERYWEEKEND(hooray for that).   

 

Well her job is crap and she's been asking for gas money even when we meet half way and this weekend she brought to the exchange  4 large trash bags full of clothes (hers and the kids including undergarments)  Wants me to wash them all for her over the weekend.....  WTH woman you ripped my heart out, stomped on it, seperated my family  and enlisted my kids in a below average school....all of which I'm still steaming over.....and you want me to wash all your clothes......  She doesn't understand why I'm abject to doing this and  I don't understand the opposite sex.

 

That's pretty low on her part. I'd have asked her which bags are the kids clothes and only take those. If she can't take the time to do something as simple as laundry, she probably has many more issues you're not aware of. If this starts to get out of hand and she gets worse, you should really consider going for full custody. Something tells me you'd win that battle in court very easily.

 

I have had lawyers tell me I've got a "good" chance but here in NC the woman basically has to be complete garbage  to lose her children.  Now if I find out they are in poor living conditions  I'll get SS involved and take my kids the easy way.  If her living is unfit then I'll get custody automatically as long as my abode is in order which its pretty much spotless atm and has been since she left.

 

 

Turn, Reading over this again just made me realize how similar our situations are with ex's.  The little things that happen that are small little power struggles as the ex refuses to believe you would actually leave and tries to treat you like you haven't in hopes of getting you to come back.  Indiana court system is very similar and its easy to feel defeated, but trying to get custody is a marathon...a lot of people try to treat it like a sprint and get fed up immediately.  Just keep your head up and keep trying no matter what.

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