Mossad

www.ovguide.com enjoy :x

Chief also lives out there. I'm out there 10-15 times a year to see some fights or play some poker.

lol where in arizona is this, i may head out to the desert to watch. I need a good laugh.

I really enjoyed this movie....right up to the ending. Anyhow I feel like I just got off a rocky boat, movie made me a little motion sick.

pretty good movie, I was a little confused w/ the whole Eli and Paul part, and who H.W. was. Ended up doing a wiki search for better answers.

the word "geek" comes to mind as I read this thread. When I took that "geek test" a few years ago I was only like 10% geek....does magic automatically raise your score to like 95% ?

jk jk

Whats this magic game all about anyways?

probably bad

First-year students at Texas A&M's Vet school were receiving their first anatomy class, with a real dead cow.

They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, "In Veterinary Medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor:

The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal body.

For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the dead cow, withdrew it and stuck it in his mouth.

"Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes. But eventually took turns sticking a finger in the anal opening of the dead cow and sucking on it.

When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger.

Now learn to pay attention."Life's tough, it's even tougher if you're stupid."

A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife, "Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain... do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!"

His wife responds, "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he's lame, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong. I love you, too."

--------------------------------------

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she placed an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand. Two cowboys applied for the job. One was lame and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when

no one else applied she decided to hire the lame guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks the two of them worked hard and

the ranch was doing very well. Then one day, the rancher's widow said "You have done a really good job, and the ranch

looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels." The hired hand readily agreed and went into

town on Saturday night.

He returned around 2:30 am, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her. "Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said. Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my boots." He did as she asked, ever so slowly. "Now take off my socks." He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots. "Now take off my skirt."

He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the firelight."Now take off my bra." Again, with trembling hands did as he was told and dropped it to the floor. Then she looked at him and said: "If you everwear my clothes into town again, you're fired!"

-----------------------------------------

The American Navy found they had too many officers and decided

to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who

volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured

in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got

to choose what those two points would be.

The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from

the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet

and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked

to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes.

He walked out with $96,000.

The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who,

when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my weenie to my testicles."

It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks

the previous two officers had received. But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with

him providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer.

The medical officer arrived and instructed the Chief to "drop'em," which he did.

The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie and began to work back.

Dear Lord!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"

The old Chief calmly replied, "Vietnam"

Two Rednecks, Bubba and Jim Bob , are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer.

Bubba turns to Jim Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education.

Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College, and sign up for some classes."

Jim Bob thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave.

The next day, Bubba goes down to the college and meets the Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes:

Math, English, History, and Logic.

"Logic?" Bubba says. "What's that?"

The dean says, "I'll show you. Do you own a weedeater?"

"Yeah."

"Then logically speaking, because you own a weedeater, I think that you would have a yard."

"That's true, I do have a yard."

"I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I >think logically that you would have a house."

"Yes, I do have a house."

"And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family."

"I have a family."

"I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife."

"Yes, I do have a wife."

"And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual."

"I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weedeater."

Excited to take the class now, Bubba shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go meet Jim Bob at the bar.

He tells Jim Bob about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic.

"Logic?" Jim Bob says, "What's that?"

Bubba says, "I'll show you. Do you have a weedeater?"

"No."

"Then you are a queer."

nintendo should hire this guy

pretty good movie, it kept me entertained.

saw it a few weeks ago. Great movie, one of the better movies I've seen in a long time.

its 37.95 on steam for the pc

I was out shopping with my wifes twin sister last weekend and we went into victorias secret to pick up some fun stuff for the wife and her sister offered to model it for me......I had no idea how to respond to that one so I just left. WEIRD!!!!!

probably will happen in iraq before we see it in the states.

I tried the p228 tonight at the range and it didn't really fit my hand very well, I then tried an assortment of glocks, but for some reason I kept going back and looking at the 9mm m&p and firing that. So I decided to purchase that tonight, after about 10 minutes of backround checks and paying for the weapon I walked in the range and fired new weapon. I put about 200 rounds through it tonight and had 0 problems.

I've been looking into getting a new pistol the past week, i'm looking a for a center fire pistol in the $500 - 700 range - either a 9mm or .40 cal.I recently tested out the S&W - m&p 9mm. I really really liked this weapon, couple of neat things are the 3 different grips you get with the weapon, much longer sights than the glock and a $50 buck rebate from s&w w/ 2 xtra clips.Does anyone else have some suggestions? I'm also probably gonna be taking the conceal carry class soon. Probably will get the license but never carry a firearm on me, I'm more interested in the laws and what I'm legally allowed to do if I'm every faced with a situation if I need to use it.Any insight would be helpful

i hope hatton wins, mayweathers personality bugs me.

i'm not seeing domination in that map list, can we please give that a try. Its just like headquarters but with 3 points on the map. Its tons of fun

DOMINATION PLEASE!

i ran over and armadillo once

please take out that super small map...and make some maps domination. Its really a fun mode.

i thought he was going to spell out n i g g a s. For some reason I thought this was gonna be a comedy moment and then all the judges would pass out after he spelled it.

domination is my favorite mode.

i can't seem to connect to the server.