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Some funny "English" anecdotes I recently found: -Barrymore, when did english judjes begin to wear dark gowns? -Since the Day of moaning for Queen Victoria, Sir. -Then, why do they keep wearing it now? -Maybe, because she is still dead, Sir. The restaurant: - Your English breakfast, sir! - So, bacon, scrambled eggs, beans ... and where the toast? - Cheers, sir! Tipsy Lord said unto the servant: - John! You do not find that this yogurt has a strange taste? - Yes, sir. Moreover, I find that this yogurt a strange name, sir. - Well, what is it? - Mayonnaise, sir! English village, a boy plays in front of a house. Gentleman walks by and says, - Child, where's your father? The kid importantly answers: - In a pigsty, sir. Go right there, you recognize him by a bright red panama upon his head. In English family was a fifteen year old boy, who hasn't said a word since he was born. One day at a breakfast, he suddenly said: - A toast, is burnt. - What? Why did you not say anything so before? - Parents were astonished. - Until now, everything was going fine. British prim spinster is going to provide a happy reception. Calls up her maid and said: - Mary, men are going to come to visit us, they will go to the water closet, touch with hands their THINGs, then by the same hands, the sugar from the sugar bowl ... You'll have to put the sugar tongs. After receiving the maid lady beckons: - Mary, I think I asked you to expand the tongs. Mary: - I laid out ... lady: - And where are they? Mary: - In the water closet ... Post your favorite "english" humor, I'll be happy to read more:)