Saris August 16, 2006 Share Saris Member August 16, 2006 (edited) Yeah, so, I've deemed it fantasy-action genre, though really there's as many battles in the book as any other fantasy novel, but I try to write in a more engaging matter. Rather than focus on building a fantastical world, I focus on the characters and their stories. Feedback (especially critical, I hope to publish this someday) is always appreciated. EDIT: (Taken out) Edited August 22, 2006 by Saris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farmerisme August 16, 2006 Share farmerisme Member August 16, 2006 I will give that a read later and give some comments. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bushwack August 16, 2006 Share bushwack Member August 16, 2006 Same here, I just scrolled, scrolled and scrolled to the bottom then put this. Sorry, maybe you should try out a few short episodes first. Someone review this and let me know if it's worth reading. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farmerisme August 17, 2006 Share farmerisme Member August 17, 2006 I liked it. You use plenty of descriptive language that makes visualizing the story that much easier. I like the use of humor and seriousness. I think it would be helpful to make it a bit clearer what sort of technology and sort of civilization is available. The character development is great though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
witt August 17, 2006 Share witt Member August 17, 2006 I haven't read any fantasy in a long time, but I thought it was good. Engaging, and very descriptive. The only thing I would say is don't go overboard with adjectives. There are a few instances where the language is a bit awkward. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saris August 17, 2006 Author Share Saris Member August 17, 2006 Lol, what you said Witt, contradicts what farmer said Thanks for the feedback, I agree with the statements both of you have made, reading through it myself and finding some really good, swift and powerful descriptions, and some to be drawn out and awkward. Sorry about the length; It's the start of the novel, and I wanted to put in until the end of the first battle to show the breadth of my writing abilities. Most important of all though, I hope you enjoyed reading it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farmerisme August 17, 2006 Share farmerisme Member August 17, 2006 I did, I just prefer a bit more introduction to where these characters exist before the story develops. Hard to do I guess, and I am sure that as the story progresses you find out more about the world they live in. With fantasy writing there can be so much give in what is possible and present in a location and it makes the story harder to picture without the background. You do give a bit of an intro to the world and maybe I just have not read enough fantasy (have not read much in awhile) to get it smoothly. Good luck writing it and know there are always people to read it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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