If you cant handle the rules, then don't play there. I've seen them give more then one person a chance or a warning, and in some cases multiple warnings. Sometimes I coudnt believe a person got away with swearing or pecking as long as they did and I've even complained about them getting away with it. Also, it depends on the admin. You can't say it's all the admins ...because I play at mmmm enough to know it's not. 'Ppl get tired of of the mmmm admins and will start playing somewhere else." Well if it was that bad, you wouldnt have bothered posting to begin with, so you must think somethings redeeming about the server or you woulda been banned and that would have been the end of it; you would have gone on your merry way to another server. The rules arent that hard to follow. Sure, everyone makes mistakes, but it probably has to do more with the fact that there has been more then one incident and that it was not isolated. Also, I see regulars on swearing and tking and doing all sorts of crap when they know that there isnt an admin on.
The bottom line like the man said: Their server, their rules. When the RGN network got shutdown (4 servers I played on) I had a heck of a time finding a new server that: A) had an admin on with some regularity, wasnt full of n00b campers, C) had ff on and not a bunch of idiots, and D) had some reasonably skilled players. Lastly, from what you described you broke 2 rules at the same time: you were disrespectful to someone and you swore.
You give someone enough rope, more often then not, THEY WILL hang themselves.
P.S. - If your gonna flame, at least use periods or cap at the start of new sentences. Looks like one big run on sentence - which doesnt encourage ppl to take the time to read it.