GOrnE

congrats! finally get a whiff of that new car smell?? its soo much sweeter when its yours

A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to a big department store looking for a job. The manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says, "Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Texas." Well, the boss liked the kid, so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did." His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many sales did you make today?" The kid says, "One." The boss says, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for?" Kid says, "$101,237.64." Boss says, "$101,237.64? What did you sell him?" Kid says, "First I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing, and he said down at the coast, so I told him he was gonna need a boat, so we went down to the boat department, and I sold him that twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4X4 Blazer." The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and truck?" Kid says, "No, he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Well, since your weekend's shot, you might as well go fishing." and... he's still going

lol.. u already said too much anon... guess we all know which way you swing jk buddy

i definitely enjoy big games but if u play into the early morning and most people go out... i realized a small game is pretty fun too ... its definitely different ill give you that much ask chester about our one on one

happy birthday batman! *punches batman 33 times* no ones too old for birthday punches!

little nicky or the joke??? happy gilmore = greatest adam sandler movie

i need my scopeless!!!!!!

lol.. all in one line? that may ruin some comedic timing !

or should gorne just shut his mouth ??

is it just me or did the spam filter in scopless get A LOT stricter? Sometimes I can barely say anything it seems.. Anyone else having this problem?

Three men lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they passed a trial. The first step of the trial was to enter the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So, all three men went separate ways to gather fruits. The first one came back and said to the king, “I brought ten apples.� The king then explained, “Next, you have to shove the fruits up your butt without so much as an expression on your face, or you’ll be eaten.� The first apple went in, but on the second he winced in pain, and was killed. The second one arrived, and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy. 1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8…and on the ninth berry, he burst out in laughter, and was killed. The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, “Why did you laugh? You almost got away with it!� The second one replied, “I couldn’t help it, I saw the third guy coming with pineapples.� *insert rimshot here*

secretly we're just jealous of your mad P0st1ng sKiLLzzZ

lmao.. try googling any of these jokes.. they are all classics i like to collect jokes.. i mostly get them emailed from my friends so it might well be from the forum you are talking about and what are ya trying to do? make me look like a phony? Dont make me frag ya

well.. thx for putting me in my place glitch.. always welcome from a fellow [XX]

anon got my back! he'll back me up.. i was bled by kilz's teammates ya bastage! admit it!!!!! na it was all fair and square

nice addition brillow.. ya trying to steal my thunder here?!?!

scoffing? i make sure only comedic gold make it to the forums.. i put all my jokes through a vigorous screening process

indeed.. we are far more privledged then we know

they'll just keep coming and coming

easy there anon.. dont work urself into an ulcer

well if bigbones enjoyed it.. this thread was a success!!

honestly chewy.. if i were you, i'd have the first tv and second speakers and ship them to me btw .. chewy, guess what? I got a fever! and the only prescription is MORE COW BELL!!!!!!!!!

After every Quantas Airlines flight, pilots complete a gripe sheet which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during flight that need repair or correction. The form used is a piece of paper on which the pilot completes the top part listing the problem, which the mechanics read and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, so the pilot on the next flight of that plane can review the form before taking off. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and responses. P = the problem logged by the pilot, S = the solution and action taken by engineers. Quantas, by the way, is the only major airline that has never had an accident. P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Amost replaced left inside main tire. P: Test flight ok, except auto land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back order P: Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud S: DME volume set to more believable level P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what they're there for. P: IFF inoperative. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed. This joke reminds me of some of the smart alecs in gc *cough*preacher*cough*

i coulda swore i use to go out friday and saturday night... now its all sorry, i gotta play some cs !!!

fatty to the rescue!!! thx for the backup