Absum

well having a severe lack of time with schooling coming into the picture... i have but saved one last shred of freedom and enjoyment.. i can only play one day a week.. but for that whole day i dont eat or drink or do anything.. but play.. contrary to my old venue of playing almost 10 hours a day.. stupid knowledge if only i didnt need it...

There is alot of great things today, wonderful medical discoveries make us live longer and can sometimes erase the scars of accidents or our own neglect. But often times I feel as if life is a bit lost from how it should be. I think of how since humanity became "civilized" it has been doing most things in the direction off killing itself off. Its hard to make it through a single day, or even half a day without doing something or engaging in something that alone, given enough time, through continued use could destroy the world. We seem to live and breath destruction. Now i know almost everyone here is a gamer(ddeerrr =P) and i know the question i propose would mean none of this community would exist as it does.. but if you could chose to live life as a hunter-gatherer, or basically in tune with your enviroment, which only took from the world what it could give back and making the time line of survival perpetual. Or continue in modern day with all our luxuries and technology, but have our ways as they are leading us to a point of non existance..... what would you choose?

im kinda stuck inbetween a rock and a hard place. though in all means MY life is in order and my feet on solid ground but nearly everyone around me seems to be drowning in mud. >the last straw< my brother called me the other night at 2am... not his kind of thing to do.. and i know he is aware of our time differences. its a strange thing to hear your older brother cry. my brother has been battling alcholism for a long time. now i dont know many who dont think its just fine to sit back and sip the tin with friends but he has a very serious problem and it doesnt help that he is in the military and almost all of his friends can think of nothing better to do with their time. it also doesnt help him that his wife is leaving him.. technically she already has and has been draining his bank accounts for months now with her boyfriend. He is in a terrible place of awkward denial and acceptance. he knows whats going on but he feels like such a failure in almost every aspect of his life that hes drowning. sadly on more than one occasion ive had to persuade my brother from suicide over the phone. be it his last bit of sence to call me. or my bad timing to call him. ive interupted several times when he literally had a gun on the table before him. its so hard to get him to hold on for one more day. and he is so far away i cant go if to nothing else keep him company and help him not drink himself to a state of unconsciousness every day. The problem is i have long run out of reasons.. and he cant find any on his own. hes consulted his chaplin on and off over the years but he always ends up in the same boat. and i know now he is in deeper than ever. with no voice to speak with but his own... and he is not one who does well left to his own devices (obviously) even now i am starting to beleave if i were him i would have done away with myself by now. but thats not exactly something you tell somebody whos out of reasons and quickly losing faith. i just hope and pray that at least he can make it so that i might see him again.. or do something for him. i mean, he's my big brother... and i wouldnt be who i am today without him. i would just feel a little better knowing im not the only one praying for him

absum in latin means" to be without" or "absent of" or something close to it. and so i found the story of my life in a single word lol

run preacher RUN brillows got a stick! and not hes pickin up another !!!! we can only hold him back so long

i was rootin for ya. at least i tried to ease the pain a little afterwards with a few brewskies from the stock pile lol.

ive been beating my bass for about 2 years now as well as guitar(im a little astounded that i can handle a bass yet am on fools ground with a normal guitar) i play the harmonica number one though. i also tinker with a mandolin and digery-doo.

i would have to say that i sway much more toward underground music. real good music is hard to find and i enjoy music across almost all genres. Mostly I dabble in indie rock, blues, jazz, and some mainstream rock. but one thing i think of when a band ive liked for a long time gets popular, and i get a little tinkled that so many people have never even heard one of their good songs or even know some of their other albums besides the one that was made a hit, is after being in the trenches of backwater bars for so long i'd give my kudos to a band who finally gets to suck of the fat of the foolish for a bit and see their wallet full for a change. even if they drop their old ways to do it.. i couldnt ask someone to be great their whole life, sometimes its okay for someone to put the axe down and take up a chair.... but thats just my opinion.

buying in to gimmicks

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doctor

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not perfect

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peircings

newbiest thing i have ever done ----> time is running out to plant in game both sites are clear and i say "!!!who's got the bo.... AHHH ive got the bomb!!!"

utter euphoria

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i agree cookies for shep!!!!

losing

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Finally got to get on cs:s for like.. a measly hour or so but still im en route to a new comp. going to set this 8 year old heap on fire. (tempted to tape and post the tribal like witch burning of this evil machine) and oh what fun it was to jump on on and get in a custom or 2... made my month!!!!!!! and i still suck... oy i can never truly win..

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my girlfriend wakes me up every day. ::wink wink::