Autism and scouting

[Architect]

Yeah, kind of a serious topic. I am an assistant Scout Master for my son's troop. One of the boys has autism. He is 12 and is almost 6' tall and as big if not bigger than many adults. Yet he has the mentality of a five year old at times. He is smart and picks up on things quickly if he is interested. Distracted very easily. Poor impulse control. No real limits coming from parents, dad makes the babies and that is where he ends. The school hates him and treats him poorly. I have known him for over six years as I was also his den leader in cub scouts as well.

He can't be left alone. He only listens to me, and other men. Never to women. Mom never really disciplines him.

I want him to succeed. I want him to have some friends. I want him to have some positive impact on his life. I am so worried about him. I fear he won't be able to participate. But we can't baby sit him. We can't watch him all the time. It was one of the most draining weeks i have experienced in a while. And he only stayed for the day, went home at night with his mom.

I just wanted to vent. So frustrated. Not sure what to do going to reach out to support groups and bsa to see what is possible.

Edited July 25, 2016 by Architect

[DiXie]

Good thinking, Arch.

 

It must be very exhausting.  Sorry to hear about this young man.    The Mom is probably so mentally beat, that her son's behavior goes right over her head at times.  I think it would be beneficial for her to look into support groups for herself.  

 

Please know that she is probably SO grateful for what you and the BSA does for her son...she is so exhausted and numb, that she is unable to express her gratitude.

 

Be proud of what you do for the kids and continue to do your best.  You are a human being, and part of being a human being involves being compassionate and having the patience to care for others who need it.  Not everyone is like that. <3

 

--Never forget who you are and your purpose for doing what you do.  Helping others is one of the most selfless acts!!!

[stutters]

You're probably having a profound impact on his life -- as exhausting as it may be. 

 

If you have some spare time, I recommend giving Wizard Mode a chance. It's a documentary about a world pinball champion...who also has autism. 

 

[MrMustard]

Hey Architect,

 

First off I applaud your efforts.  It is people, like you, with strong morals and will that have changed this world from a place that locks up people with autism in mental asylums for a lifetime to one that has given them the opportunity to integrate and contribute to our society.  Before you read any further understand that is an incredible feat that very few people are willing or even able to undertake.  Bravo!!

 

My youngest sister has autism.  She turned 18 this year and I've experienced first hand the frustration you are dealing with.  You are probably dealing with some of the most trying times in this young man's life.  Clearly you have created some sort of bond with him and feel the weight of responsibility to ensure his future success.  I remember when she was entering her teenage years how incredibly difficult it was to try and integrate her into groups her own age.  How many times she tried so hard to be part of the group and fell short, not because she wasn't willing to put forth the effort, but because there are so many others who are unwilling to meet her in the middle.  I can tell you they have all missed out on some of life's most incredible rewards.

 

I remember when she was probably the same age as the young man in your troop.  I took her fishing with my son who is only a couple years younger.  There was an old man helping all the kids bait their hooks and untangle lines.  At one point she caught her line on a rock and he approached to help.  I didn't have a chance to stop him and of course as soon as he said hello she broke down and began to cry.  You would think the guy was going to put the hook in her, but he loosed her from the rocks and baited her hook while clearly uncomfortable about the young girl sobbing.  Strange thing is though while other kids would have wanted to quit fishing, as soon as the man was off to help other folks she calmed down.  Some time later, she went back to fishing.

 

I could tell you lots of similar stories that ended better and worse.  That particular one is more significant to me because it marked a point where I began to understand who she was.

 

At the end of the day there are things you can change, there are some you can sway, and there are others you have no control of whatsoever.  The only thing in life you have 100% control over is yourself and the only person you will have to answer to.  I could tell you there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but I only have the experience with one sister.  I can say that every obstacle she overcomes, every hardship she endures, and even the tiniest victory is incredibly sweet.  BTW she knits the most incredible things without patterns.  Things people who have been knitting their entire life would struggle with. 

 

I hope that young man is able to find his own niche.  I hope you are there to witness as it will be immensely rewarding.  Good luck to you either way and again, Bravo!!