GOrnE June 21, 2005 Share GOrnE Member June 21, 2005 Dear Diary, I never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women differ so much. And I have never figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do". One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me". I said, "WHAT????" So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You must not be in tune with my emotional needs as a woman". I am thinking, "What was her first clue?" I finally realize that nothing was going to happen that night so I went to sleep. The very next day, we went shopping at a big, unnamed dept store... I walked around with her while she tried on three different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her to take all three. She wanted matching shoes.I said "Lets get a pair for each outfit". We went to the jewellery dept. where she gets a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. She was almost sexually excited from all of this. You should have seen her face when she said, "I think this is all dear, lets go to the cash register." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out "No honey, I don't feel like buying all of this stuff now." You should have seen her face...it went completely blank.I then said,"Really honey, I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while" And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added,"You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a man" I figure that I won't be getting any again until sometime after the spring of 2008. GOrnE strikes again! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kilzugud June 21, 2005 Share Kilzugud Member June 21, 2005 was a little long but well worth the read!!! get some more out for us to read!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*BiGBonES** June 21, 2005 Share *BiGBonES** Member June 21, 2005 I'll remember this, and I WILL use it one day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duma June 21, 2005 Share duma Member June 21, 2005 [it] was a little long <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Good one! I will try that on my wife...... not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GOrnE June 21, 2005 Author Share GOrnE Member June 21, 2005 I'll remember this, and I WILL use it one day <{POST_SNAPBACK}> if you do.. plz videotape her reaction and post it for all of our enjoyment.. that is if she doesn't kill you on the spot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
campkillyorself June 21, 2005 Share campkillyorself Member June 21, 2005 Haha, that was very good. DoD will be out 2008 too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YoMamma June 22, 2005 Share YoMamma Member June 22, 2005 nice find Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vovik June 22, 2005 Share Vovik Member June 22, 2005 Gorne did that really happen to you? If yes, that will explain your hot relationships with some Decoy guy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScubaDan June 22, 2005 Share ScubaDan Member June 22, 2005 Gorne did that really happen to you? If yes, that will explain your hot relationships with some Decoy guy <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Yeah, they do seem to getting pretty close don't they! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anonymo June 22, 2005 Share anonymo Member June 22, 2005 (edited) R O F L I did something very similar to this once involving many hours at a mall and eventually dragging my better half out of a shoe store...I was totally in the right and I found it utterly hilarious...I still regret it to this day...we broke up 4 years ago... Edited June 22, 2005 by anonymo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GOrnE June 22, 2005 Author Share GOrnE Member June 22, 2005 Gorne did that really happen to you? If yes, that will explain your hot relationships with some Decoy guy <{POST_SNAPBACK}> little jealous are we vovik? and no.. im not married yet and hopefully won't be for a while Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kilzugud June 22, 2005 Share Kilzugud Member June 22, 2005 little jealous are we vovik? and no.. im not married yet and hopefully won't be for a while <{POST_SNAPBACK}> lol, how did the visit to decoys go btw?? .....and answer vovik's question!! lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decoy June 22, 2005 Share Decoy Member June 22, 2005 What's this about Gorne and I??? All I did was make some cake! That was a hilarious joke. And if Gorne and I are getting close... I wonder where that puts the girl I'm seeing.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScubaDan June 22, 2005 Share ScubaDan Member June 22, 2005 And if Gorne and I are getting close... I wonder where that puts the girl I'm seeing.... <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Puts her right....nah....I can't say it, it's a public forum after all :tongue2: *Shudders at the nasty mental imagery* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decoy June 22, 2005 Share Decoy Member June 22, 2005 (edited) It didn't need to be thought out... Edited June 22, 2005 by xxDecoy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kilzugud June 22, 2005 Share Kilzugud Member June 22, 2005 Puts her right....nah....I can't say it, it's a public forum after all :tongue2: *Shudders at the nasty mental imagery* <{POST_SNAPBACK}> lol decoy, we weren't hinting at anything....but your deffensiveness is somewhat shocking......what did you put in that cake?? lol, just kidding buddy, frag ya lata. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GOrnE June 23, 2005 Author Share GOrnE Member June 23, 2005 (edited) Puts her right....nah....I can't say it, it's a public forum after all :tongue2: *Shudders at the nasty mental imagery* <{POST_SNAPBACK}> below me? wait.. that sounded kinda bad too btw... how'd this get sooo off topic? Edited June 23, 2005 by GOrnE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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