Wow

[Decoy]

To those of you that know me. That want to hit me for not being around to play. For those of you that refuse to speak to me for ignoring your pleads to play. For those of you that just want me to pop into a server once in awhile and see what's going on... this is for you. And to all the rest of you.

 

 

It's been a rough time. I never have time to play any games anymore. College stuff. It's not all it's cracked up to be. I wanted to avoid gaming as much as I could. It's worked to some point. When DoD:S came out, I played that for a bit. But, nothing really held my interest.

 

Made friends. Have a life that doesn't have to do with me staying in my dorm room. It's more than I could ask for.

 

 

 

But, what couldn't I ask for? I couldn't ask for my grandmother to pass away.

 

I came home from college this past weekend to see her. In early September, my mom called and told me that my grandma fell and they took her to the hospital. Apparently, she had what was some number along the line of some number of mini strokes. This was nothing new. It all started 3 years ago when she had her first stroke.

 

Since then, she was gradually slipping away.

 

After she was taken to the hospital, they took her to a rehabilitation center to regain her strength. The only problem with that was she stopped eating. Completely lost her appetite. All of the strokes she had were adding up. She was diagnosed with a progressed form of Dementia. It already took away her appetite.

 

 

So, I came home last weekend to see her. She wouldn't eat anything. Then she realized who I actually was and she perked up. She started speaking normally, rather than a slurred voice. I went to CVS and got a pack of Boost. I told her I was going to drink one with her. The hardest part was watching her unable to suck anything from the straw. I helped her drink. But after a point, she stopped swallowing and it almost choked her.

 

After coughing for a bit she laughed. I laughed. She smiled and told me how happy she was that I came to see her.

 

My mom, dad, and I were standing around her when we were about to leave to eat. My grandma started waving her arms around, dancing. I hugged her and kissed her and told her I'd see her again. She put her hand out to hold onto my arm. She didn't want me to go. Everytime I tried to pull away, she would smile. I told her goodbye again and we left to eat.

 

 

I went back to school on monday morning. Finished my studies for my classes. Went to both of my classes on Tuesday. Then, at 6:30.. I was walking with my friend to eat at Quiznos on campus. And, I was thinking about how I wanted to call my dad and tell him how there's no doubt in my mind that the Braves will win the world series next year.

 

And he called me with the news.

 

I stopped in my tracks and couldn't believe it. It was at that point I made him hire someone to pick me up wednesday morning for me to come home.

 

She had another stroke, and the doctors at the rehabilitation place found her slumped over. My mom and dad met up with her at the hospital. They took a CAT scan and saw how badly her brain was beaten up by the strokes. She came around to realize what was going on for the last few minutes of her life. She looked at my mom and dad.

 

That was it.

 

 

And now here I am, unable to sleep because the funeral is in 6 hours. I don't know how to feel, except nervous...

 

Anxious...

 

 

 

 

Empty.

[Fatty]

Man. That hurts.

 

Hang in there, and envision your grandma in a place where there's no more strokes and a lot of dancing.

 

Glad you came by to post up.

[MrDuke]

I'm sorry Decoy.

 

I wish I could make the hurt and emptiness go away. I don't like to see anyone hurting.

Take it one day at a time.

Talk to your family and talk to us.

[wayfarer]

Just as her body was compensating, battling to keep her alive,

you & your family were compensating emotionally to adjust every

time she took another step downwards. Thus even though there was

ample warning of what was coming, it still came as a big shock. Alas,

I know all too well that there is only so much compensation the human

body can do before the towel gets thrown in. I too have been in your

situation before. Recently even. It's not the first time. It will not be the

last time. Death is as much a part of life as birth itself. We are all born to

die. It is especially hard to helplessly watch someone whom you care for

deeply, slowly get picked apart. Her fight is over. Her suffering has come to

an end. God has taken her hand and said, "enough! I will take you from here".

[anonymo]

I feel for you decoy...I'm sure we all know what it's like to lose a loved one. All you can do is keep on going becuase that's what they would have wanted. I'm sure nothing would make your grandma happier than to see you happy again. You know where to find me if you need to. My thoughts are with you and your family.

[*BiGBonES**]

Decoy my thoughts are with you, I went through something similar to you myself a few years ago. My grandad lost his appetite so I know what its like to sit with grandparents and do your best to make them eat something. I tried talking to my grandad when I was about 13, asking him to eat everything he could, I tried persuading him to eat chocolate ice cream and food he would like, but when they can't eat anything its heart breaking.

 

He eventually died, and the news hit me like a bullet. I've always been one to hide tears, but when I heard the news after a night of rushed phone calls, I cried like a baby.

Decoy, cry all you like, it really helps, trust me. Cry in the forums, cry by yourself, cry with your family! At the end of the tears though, the'll be a picture of a happy moment with yourself and your grandma, think of her with a big smile!

 

I'm not religious, I dont even believe in after life, but I imagine my grandad looking down on me and watching my life. I hope to make him proud someday.

 

Be strong decoy, we're all here for you! I'm good for PMs aswell if you want!

 

Once again, sorry for your loss

[Preacher]

Blessings to your family and to you my friend. Sorry she is gone, but be happy for the void that she filled in your life. I never knew my grandparents on either side. 2 were already dead when I was born, one died when I was 2 the other when I was 4 - no good memories of them.

 

I'm happy you have that. Remember the joy not the sorrow my friend