TheReverend(c) December 8, 2006 Share TheReverend(c) Member December 8, 2006 There was a post about man laws and an issue to make them easier to understand(after all they are man laws) So here they are: 28 Man Laws it's a little long, but some of these are pretty damn good... rules to live by, that's for sure... heh. 1. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella 2. t is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances: (a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master. ( The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse. © After wrecking your boss's car. (d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".(e) When she is using her teeth. 3. Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies. 4. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours. 5. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her. 6. Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable. 7. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice. 8. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest. 9. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing. 10. You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend. 11. It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free. 12. Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts. 13. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked. 14. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed. 15. If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything. 16. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers. 17. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight. 18. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy. 19. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer. 20. Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response. 21. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights (a) Yeah, Baby, Push it! ( C'mon, give me one more! Harder! © Another set and we can hit the showers! 22. Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need. 23. Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary. 24. The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was. 25. It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours. 26. Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue. 27. The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story. 28. There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever. We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below:"GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, "are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?" "BALLS" is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the donkey and having the balls to say, "You're next!" We hope this clears up any confusion, The International Council of Manhood, Ltd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anonymo December 8, 2006 Share anonymo Member December 8, 2006 Uh ....yeah....you can't contribute to a community collaboration? You have to go copy and pasting other people's crap? Oh hey...some of those will show up in our list...and some of those shouldn't be posted on these boards...you should probably actually read through them first...hey...I think that's a new "Man-Law": "No man shall be held responsible for posting any content upon a web forum without first proof-reading said document with the following exception; if that material references any form of "Man-Law" then the document must be scrutinized before being released to the public as it may contain information the enemy could use to their advantage." So do you see how you have threatened the safety of all the Men in GC? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
witt December 9, 2006 Share witt Member December 9, 2006 27. The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story. Winner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soldado December 9, 2006 Share Soldado Member December 9, 2006 lol. Those are all awsome! Especially 21 made me laugh pretty hard too. This sounds like something straight off The Man Show. That show is awsome, Jimmy Kimmel & Adam Carolla ftw! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShadowDog December 9, 2006 Share ShadowDog Member December 9, 2006 They forgot about beer spilling, vomitting, girl stealing.... and other big issues. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NOFX December 9, 2006 Share NOFX Member December 9, 2006 i live by the man laws... another that should be on the list.... if they bring beer over and stick it in the fridge, it stays at my house... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anonymo December 11, 2006 Share anonymo Member December 11, 2006 Guys! http://www.gamrs.co/joom/gcforu...showtopic=31003 Jeez! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShadowDog December 11, 2006 Share ShadowDog Member December 11, 2006 anonymo.. no offense.. but i understand yours.. just they.. well these are funnier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anonymo December 11, 2006 Share anonymo Member December 11, 2006 anonymo.. no offense.. but i understand yours.. just they.. well these are funnier. Nothings funnier than a bee gun...NOTHING! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now