Shopping Stories

[Unclean]

So I was out shopping today looking for some Dead Sea Salt scrub (gift for someone with a mild case of psoriasis), and I checked one of those kiosks at the mall. You know the ones... it has 2 or 3 people there that offer lotion to anything that walks by. So they offered me lotion too, which I passed on, but then I asked if they had any Dead Sea Salt scrubs. The rest of the conversation went like this:

 

Lotion Guy (LG): "Yes, we do!"

Me: Great!

LG: Here it is. [he pulls out a jar about the size of a cinnamon roll]

LG: I can let you try it, it does wonders on your skin!

Me: No thank you, this is a gift for someone else. Is this authentic Dead Sea Salt?

LG: It's from Israel, yes.

Me: Does it have "Dead Sea Salt" anywhere on the label?

LG: [scans the back really fast, doesn't see it] It says "Made in Israel", so yes. Sorry, my English not so good.

Me: It's ok. What about the exact wording "Dead Sea Salt"? Sorry to be picky, but I was warned to stay away from knock-offs.

LG: Let me check the website. [pulls out printed papers of their website]

LG: Ok, I don't see it on here. But it is. Not that it matters, let me just wash your hands for 1 minute, and you'll see.

Me: No thanks, my skin is alright. This is a gift for someone that has a mild case of psoriasis.

LG: This is very good for psoriasis. Do you know what psoriasis is? Just extra amounts of dirt under the skin.

Me: Actually, it's excess production of skin.

LG: That too. So let me wash your hands.

Me: No thanks.

LG: Well, you do have very beautiful skin. [he starts to wipe his finger across my hand]

Me: [pulls hand away]

Me: So let's see what else this label says... ah! Right in the first line, it says it's made from Dead Sea minerals. Just what I was looking for. How much is this?

LG: This sells for $79.95.

Me: $79.95?! I've seen this online for $30 for pounds of the stuff.

LG: This is a 2 year supply... just use a teaspoon every 10 days for healthy hands.

Me: That's way too much. I can get it way cheaper online. Thanks anyway.

LG: Where did you find it online for that price?

Me: Amazon.

LG: Waiwaiwait... let me talk to my manager. [he walks over, talks for 10 seconds, then comes back]

LG: Ok, I can sell this to you at cost. $49.95.

Me: That's still twice the price for barely a fraction of what I could get online. Thanks anyway.

 

So if any of you are interested in purchasing way overpriced sea salt from a pushy foreign guy that likes to wash your hands, I know just the guy for you.

 

So do any of you have interesting/weird/entertaining shopping stories from the holiday season?

[shaftiel]

I went into a shop to buy a Rapier and walked out with a nearly life sized plush purple and pink Unicorn called Sparkle, the War Unicorn of Love. But I really don't want to talk about it.

 

 

 

 

 

Shaftiel

[benjester]

Those guys love to negotiate... I got stopped by one of them as well... talked him down to 30% of the cost (70% off) and got a buy one get one... it was for one of their bundle things... it'll do.

 

I have a great story about kohls.com... but won't go into it until I see final results of their massive screw up. it may sway whether i put them in a positive light, or a negative light.

Edited December 21, 2007 by benjester

[ZesteR]

i'm not a mean person to random ppl, but these guys annoy me so much!!

 

When they say, "Sir, can I ask you a question?"

 

I just say, "You just did."

And keep walking.

[anonymo]

I had a good laugh because I see so many - for lack of a better word - semi-illiterate salesmen at shanties or really cheap shops that always bring about humorous lost-in-translation situations. Also, people not from the US or Canada can be really weird (like, weirder than the weirdest Canadian). Hence culture shock. Anyways good story...I have my own, not as funny I think

 

Kitchen&Bath store check out, line is insane

Cashier (male): Would you like to join the "Kitchen Stuff Plus Club" (dear god why?)

Me <looking at line of people>: I think I'll pass...

Cashier: Are you sure? You get 5% off and reward points etc. <I cut him off>

Me: How many people have signed up for the reward club?

Cashier: Oh lots!

Me: How many signed up today?

Cashier <scratches his head, starts to smile>: oh no one I guess

Me: <looking back at the line> Yeah, I didn't think so - I think it has something to do with the cinnamon candles, they're pretty over powering (I now hate cinnamon)...I thought I read in the paper that when the brain registers the scent of cinnamon it triggers their sex drive

Cashier (this is literally what he said): Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh myyyyyyyyyyy god I totally read that too! (I made it up) Isn't that crazy!

Me <sarcasm beam on>: Yeah. Thanks again

I left...

 

to give the guy credit it is the christmas season and he looked like one of the stacking ladies had kicked his butt earlier...so he was probably just on auto pilot at that point

[TheGeek]

what other spice can I lure anonymo with....? if not cinnamon, then what....?

[JackieChan]

Heh, this reminds me to a month ago when I bought Guitar Hero 3. I roll on up to my local Gamestop (they actually had the game).

 

Guy: Hi, how are you doin'?

Me: Pretty good. I doubt you guys have it, but do you have the Guitar Hero 3 bundle pack for the 360?

 

The manager conspicuously walks out as soon as I ask that.

 

Guy: Hey, do we have Guitar Hero 3 for the 360 in back?

Manager: Actually, we do. Let me go get it quick.

Me: Okay.

Guy: Would you like to pre-order Rock Band?

Me: No thanks.

Guy: You get five dollars off if you do.

Me: Nah.

Guy: Because it comes out soon, you sure?

Me: Yeah. I'm alright.

Manager: Here we go. (He walks out with GH3) We are pre-ordering Rock Band now if you're interested.

Me: No thanks...

Guy: We have no bags that you can carry this in, is that alright?

Me: Yup, that's fine.

 

After I swipe my card, they make one more pressing request for me to pre-order Rock Band before I reject them for the 40th time, I walk out the store thinking, "Geez.. those people down at the GameTrailer's forums are right.. they do push the crap out of you to buy more stuff than you need."

 

Gamestop/EBgames is my last resort for video game purchases from now on...

 

Wish I wasn't such a nice guy... I would have made some sort of jeer at him.

Edited December 22, 2007 by JackieChan

[Mossad]

I was out shopping with my wifes twin sister last weekend and we went into victorias secret to pick up some fun stuff for the wife and her sister offered to model it for me......I had no idea how to respond to that one so I just left. WEIRD!!!!!

[shaftiel]

I was out shopping with my wifes twin sister last weekend and we went into victorias secret to pick up some fun stuff for the wife and her sister offered to model it for me......I had no idea how to respond to that one so I just left. WEIRD!!!!!

 

Dude. No really... dude.

 

 

 

 

 

Shaftiel

[Shadowman]

One time me and my brother were walking though a Meijer's, a Target-Walmart clone in Michigan, and we passed the toy department on the way to the electronics section. Wanting to go there to pick up a DVD at 3 in the morning on X-mas eve proved to be a mistake as we reached the department to find it swarmed with people desperately trying to get their shopping done. After much shoving and rude comments we knabbed "Super Troopers", only on the way out to watch two grown men duking it out for the last Nintendo DS, eventually the larger man throwing the smaller man into a group of women and taking out a display case of sun tan lotion and ready-to-serve bacon. Oddest five minutes of my life.

[shaftiel]

The only odd thing I saw in that experience was the display case that had the combo of sunscreen and ready to serve bacon. What are they trying to say with that....

 

 

 

 

 

Shaftiel

[Shadowman]

The only odd thing I saw in that experience was the display case that had the combo of sunscreen and ready to serve bacon. What are they trying to say with that....

 

 

 

 

 

Shaftiel

 

You can now enjoy your bacon while getting a tan for the beach?