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Wolfsblood

Wolfsblood's transition

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Hi everyone! I know I haven't been around much, but a lifetime ago I was a regular on the forums, and in the servers. I have had the pleasure of meeting many of you in person at the various Frag Fests I went to over the years. Many others I knew from the CS:S servers, and here on the forums. I made many friends here over the years, and am glad to have had the opportunity to do so. What nobody here knew though, is that what the world saw was a mask. A costume that I wore out of fear and shame. Today, that mask has been removed, and that costume has been removed. I am finally myself.

 

I am Wolfsblood. I have always *been* Wolfsblood. I will always *BE* Wolfsblood.

 

I am also a transgender woman.

 

It took me 45 years, and a friend I met online to finally put all of the scattered pieces of my life together, and answer the riddle of "who am I?" I began my transition at 48 years old, and as of today, I have been on hormone replacement therapy (hrt) for just over one year, and have been living full time as a woman for 8 months, though I started living part time 3 months prior. Saying that I've been "living" full time is actually a fairly accurate statement, as before i only existed for the most part. Now I am me, and the world sees me, for the most part, the way I see myself. This transition ended my marriage; which wasn't a surprise, but we've been able to remain friends and have a better relationship today than we did when we were together. We just no longer work as a romantic couple, and therefore it made little sense to stay together in a marriage that would have ended anyway, with us likely hating each other. My children like me better now because I'm not a donkey all the time. (Yes, I typed donkey, :P)

 

For those of you that I met at the last couple of Frag Fests at Black Wolf Hall, I'm still running the same rig, and still running Linux, which means most of my games still don't run natively, but I'm hoping to finally get a stable dual boot for Windows and Linux so I can get back to gaming; especially Mass Effect, both the original trilogy, as well as Andromeda. (FemShep is the only Commander Shepard. ;) ) Once that happens, I hope to be able to rejoin the gaming community.

 

Love to you all,

 

Wolfsblood

 

p.s. I'm attaching a couple of pics. One before transition, one from March 25, 2017; the day I hit one year on hormones.

post-1059-0-95862200-1491282363_thumb.jpgpost-1059-0-48495800-1491282363_thumb.jpg

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Thank you. I am an old CS:S player; bullet magnet really. ;) Played a lot of other games, but most were single player. Did play Guild Wars with several GC people years ago though. There was a lot of soul searching that went into the transition. Was it worth it to blow up my life in my late 40's? The short answer in hindsight was "yes". I very much doubt that I would have survived this long had I not. Now, I see a path toward a future. What that will look like is not clear at all, I am more comfortable, confident in the things I do, and I finally have some small  measure of patience to let my kids, be kids without blowing up because they aren't following directions.

 

And yea, I am happier. :)

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As do I my friend. :) I really loved playing that game. :) Not surprising that of the first 6 characters I made in that game, 5 were female. ;) I did end up making 2 more guy ones for Nightfall, but one was a paragon who had wings and a skirt so I'm not sure that counted, lol!

 

I miss gaming with others. I miss gaming in general though. :/

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I hear ya. I try to get a CSGO match in like once or twice a week if I'm lucky. Kids and working on an MBA has taken all of my time. And don't worry, I almost always made girl characters in GW, though my reasoning may have been more that I just liked to look at them more than the guys ;)

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I almost always made girl characters in GW, though my reasoning may have been more that I just liked to look at them more than the guys ;)

That's usually my view on that too, lol. 

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