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Communication Guide


Contradiction

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I was reading through the net the other day and a friend directed me to this site and i read something funny there. So i thought maybe i'll share it with you guys. :)

 

Girlfriend Communication Guide

 

 

Men are from Mars? Women are from Venus? Please. We're all from the same Hell, and it's called Earth. Here's some help to translate what she is saying so that you don't end up being killed in your sleep.WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIEND SAYS Vs. WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIEND MEANS:

 

 

· We need. = I want.

 

· It's your decision. = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

 

· Do what you want? = You'll pay for this later!

 

· We need to talk. = I need to complain

 

· Sure... go ahead. = I don't want you to.

 

· I'm not upset. = Of course I'm upset, you dum-dum.

 

· You're look very manly. = You need a shave and you smell.

 

· You're certainly attentive tonight. = Is sex all you ever think about?

 

· I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = It's my period.

 

· Be romantic, turn out the lights. = I feel fat.

 

· This kitchen is so inconvenient. = I want a new apartment.

 

· I want new curtains... = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....

 

· I need wedding shoes. = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white

 

· Hang the picture there. = NO, I mean hang it there!

 

· I heard a noise. = I noticed you were almost asleep.

 

· Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.

 

· How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like.

 

· I'll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.

 

· Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.

 

· You have to learn to communicate. = You have to learn to agree with me.

 

· Are you listening to me!? = (When you hear this it's too late. You're dead!)

 

· Yes. = No.

 

· No. = No.

 

· Maybe. = No.

 

· I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry.

 

· I'm not yelling! = Yes I'm yelling, because this is important.

 

 

 

In answer to "What's wrong?"

 

 

· The same old thing. = You.

 

· Nothing. = Everything.

 

· Everything. = My PMS is acting up.

 

· Nothing, really. = I hate you!

 

· I don't want to talk about it. = I'm not ready to yell at you yet.

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Men are from Mars? Women are from Venus? Please. We're all from the same Hell, and it's called Earth.

 

Only problem is most of that stuff is in the book. Plus alot of other cool stuff about the different ways that men and women communicate. I would advise anyone to read it men AND women. ;)

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actually Tra...I don't love you seeing as how I really don't know you and you give me a complex by actually talking over voice comm. and making me hear a high pitched voice that isn't a 12 year old boy...

 

sorry...

wait...no I'm not

:-T

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actually Tra...I don't love you seeing as how I really don't know you and you give me a complex by actually talking over voice comm. and making me hear a high pitched voice that isn't a 12 year old boy...

 

sorry...

wait...no I'm not

:-T

dewd, chill, let's not cross over into serious-mode so quickly.....

 

Pssssst My ladies are so whipped after one date i can do whatever i wish.

 

See now? Look, Ace has taken us right back to fantasy....there we go, thanks, Ace.

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wow...you'd think after 8 years on the internet I would have realized sarcasm doesn't translate well

so on that note...

Tra...I was joking...I have absolutely nothing against you in any way...I was just making a joke to crush your dreams and cause unhappiness in life...until you realized it was a joke of course

(ps...that last statement was also sarcasm in a joking manner)

 

:)

 

did I come across correctly in that one?

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A boot to that region should not be justified unless there is potential for EXTREME physical and/or psychological damage to the woman involved.

 

All other "boots" to this area should be a felony and punishable by law with a sentence of 1-3 years in a maximum security prison.

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