IGNORANT STORIES

[ScubaDan]

ROFL!! Oh Duke, you lead a very interesting life..hahaha!

 

The big question is, which flasher did you prefer, Spider Bite Sally or Discharge Don?!?

 

 

Edit: Fixed a typo.....

Edited September 29, 2005 by ScubaDan

[MrDuke]

Neither.

 

If I'm seeing skin it's because I'm paying to see skin.

[AIMbot 2.0 BETA Tester]

A customer of a Gateway computer called customer support one day with a problem.  The tech asked what the problem was and the individual responded as such.

 

"I have an icon on the right side of my screen I want to click on...but my mouse wont move that far."

 

The tech asked the idividual if they had installed the correct drivers, set the sesitivity too low and such...then it dawned on him...

 

"Pick up the mouse, move it back to the center of the mousepad and try again..."

 

"Oh, thank you very much that worked."

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

My mom had a similar problem at a workshop for MS office bout ten years ago. It still gets brought up occasionally.

[AIMbot 2.0 BETA Tester]

Wow that statement blew up! I was just implying that you seemed a little harsh by saying the person was ignorant. If I needed cold medicine and that expired  bottle was all I had, I too would ask someone (knowlegeable) if it was safe to take. But maybe I'm just ignorant!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

 

LOL, well let's defuse it. I'm not offended. I hope you aren't either. No harm, no foul.

 

All is well!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

pinko commy

[Unclean]

I've got tons, but here are a few favorites:

 

I was tech support for an outsourcing company in the late 90's. Someone called up asking for scanner software. I offered to email it to him.

"Ok, my email address is blahblah@hotmail.com"

"You can't send files to Hotmail. Do you have an email address that will accept attachments?"

"Oh. How about my neighbor's... blahblah@juno.com"

"Can't send files there either. Do you have an email address that will accept attachments?"

"Um... no. Can you just fax it to me?"

 

My other favorite was when I worked as a tech for a Gateway store (people would bring in their computers for repair). Usually I can tell right away if someone has a good sense of humor or not. This guy walks in with a computer under one arm and a baby in a handbasket in the other. He sets the baby down first and goes "listen buddy, I've got a problem."

With a straight face, I go "I'm sorry sir... we don't service babies here."

He looks at me straight in the eye and goes "no, it's with my computer." Like I'm gonna put a screwdriver to the kid to see what's inside...

[lazarus]

this one is from an ex-gf a while back.

lil history first tho. im korean (very important to the story), i lived in georgia for 27 years. i grew up in a really white area, very conservative very rich. so im pretty conscious about racism and whatnot. and especially with my girlfriends, which all have been white. so i get to college and my current gf (who is white) and i have been dating about a year or so, when we stroll by a black guy and a white girl holding hands. she turns to me and very earnestly says.

 

"you know, if you were black, we'd be an inter-racial couple."

 

boy did she get a surprise when i told her i was asian and we WERE an inter-racial couple

[Terribleone]

this one is from an ex-gf a while back.

lil history first tho. im korean (very important to the story), i lived in georgia for 27 years. i grew up in a really white area, very conservative very rich. so im pretty conscious about racism and whatnot. and especially with my girlfriends, which all have been white. so i get to college and my current gf (who is white) and i have been dating about a year or so, when we stroll by a black guy and a white girl holding hands. she turns to me and very earnestly says.

 

"you know, if you were black, we'd be an inter-racial couple." 

 

boy did she get a surprise when i told her i was asian and we WERE an inter-racial couple 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

what???

[lazarus]

i actually did have to tell here that we were, in fact, an inter-racial couple.

i just thought it was funny that she didnt consider our relationship counter-cultural.

and that i had ALWAYS thought about our race when it came to us.

 

maybe ignorence from my part eh?

Edited October 1, 2005 by lazarus

[Preacher]

My wife comes home from work about 4 years ago all mad. She said that today a lady was arrested for something she didn't do. I asked what she was talking about and here is the story she told me: My boss was at a gas station this morning and saw this other lady smoking next to the gas pump, she mentioned the safety issue to the attendant and he immediately went and asked the woman to put the cigarette out. The woman refused and because it was a police substation the attendant asked the policeman to intervene. The officer went out but before he said anything to her she pulled the gas dispencer out of the car and got gas all over her arm, which immediately caught fire. She then proceded to run around waving the arm and screaming. After a few minutes they got the fire out but she was still arrested for brandishing a firearm.

 

OK now this is a mediocre joke but the funny part is that my wife didn't get it and thought the joke was a true story rofl.

[Ice_Berge_00]

LOL, that's a great one preacher