Telling Them Off

[Shadowman]

So, me and this girl that have been friends for a long time have been hanging out lately. I danced with her at our senior prom, althrough she wasn't my date, and have known her since like the 8th grade. And while she's a really cool person and all, I've never really had a thing for her.

 

But that's the opposite for her. She really likes me, and recently I started somewhat dating her. Buuuuuut I really want out of it cause I don't like her like that, but I'll really feel like an douchebag if I just end it suddenly. Its been a most confusing week.

 

Suggestions?

[w8t4time]

if you don't feel the same as another person as to why you want to hang together........

 

then be honest it hurts and sucks but better than leading someone on thinking you feel the same as they do just my .02 cents

[witt]

Yeah, best bet is to get it off your chest asap...the longer things drag on, the more complicated it'll get. That's a tough situation man, I hope she takes it well....just make it clear you think she's cool, but that you don't want a gf.

[Unclean]

It's a weird position to be in, isn't it? It's funny how someone else's interest in YOU changes your perception of them. You're not doing either of you a favor by staying in a relationship you're not interested in.

 

Since it's only been a week, say something like "we make such good friends that I don't think we should be taking it any farther. I don't want things to get weird between us." Or something to that effect.

[3vil]

what ever you do,DO NOT LIE TO HER.it will come back around and bite you in the end.

[JackieChan]

...I hate these "truth hurts" situations... If you tell her you guys just want to be friends, I hope she'll be understanding enough not to break down where you'll most likely weaken (I predict things like that have happened before).

 

I don't think you'll do this, but don't do it over the phone. She'll think that you'll just want to end it completely and she won't ever bother you again...unless that's what you want. But I don't completely condone that.

 

If you want to break it to her that you just want to be friends, have it be in a very casual situation. Like hanging out at her place (this would be the best place to be in this kind of situation. You don't have to take her back to her place afterwards, or anything you would feel awkward in), or something like that. The less/more effort you put into it will change how she thinks of you.

 

Plus, you want to need to be sincere with how you start the conversation. The tone of your voice can say it all without saying it all out loud. Say it in a calm, yet positive voice because it could tell her that you want to be honest about things so hopefully she'll understand more.

 

Hope some of this helps you.

Edited May 21, 2006 by JackieChan

[Xterminator]

just be honest dude. Just say that you're not feeling a connection. She'll respect you for being honest. But one thing is for sure, dont prolong it. If you drag it out, you'll only make it worse for everyone.

[NOFX]

i agree iwth everyone above.

 

what really gets me is that I have not met ONE girl that would actually go with the advice given above.. I know they are just trying to not hurt someones feelings, but they think its better to not be completely honest and lead you on rather than tell you how it is.

[anonymo]

marry her