Fairweather June 28, 2008 Share Fairweather Member June 28, 2008 all women are the spawn of satan, she will eat u in ur sleep Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Playaa June 30, 2008 Share Playaa Member June 30, 2008 This sounds like you're both playing stupid games. Preacher's right. If you don't actually care about her moving in with your or not then you probably don't really care about her. What other reason is there for being in the relationship then? Is it the "nookie" as you say? It sounds like you don't actually want to be with the girl or that you're at least indifferent. Do a favor for both of you. Get out of the relationship and find someone you do want to be with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shep48 June 30, 2008 Share shep48 Member June 30, 2008 long term relationship she has to be your best friend period. all that other stuff fades away and gets common. you are going to fight with anyone you live with.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lazarus July 1, 2008 Share lazarus Member July 1, 2008 i'm going to have to agree with preach, dweez, and shep. If you are indifferent about her moving in, then you'll really hate it when she does. I mean, moving in and getting along is tough enough when both people are all for it. But this situation is not healthy to begin with, so its guaranteed to fail. And now with this little game of hers, trying to make you beg her tom move in.....not good. Think long and hard about this decision. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NOFX January 9, 2009 Author Share NOFX Member January 9, 2009 well... she is moving out this weekend. I don't want to say it was a mistake, but my initial instinct was right... I couldn't take it... It took her over 2 months to find a job.. She finally found one, but she quit last week. She could barely afford to give me 1/6th of the bills. She hated giving me money and it was always about a month late. I pretty much had to do everything, clean up after us, etc... I hate to say it but, it was almost like I had adopted a grown child. Plus living with a women, she expected 100% of my attention when I wasn't at work. If being married is anything like what I just went though.. I don't see how you guys do it. Sure there is nookie and there are some perks, but the negatives outweigh them. When someone is just dragging you down, it's not good for you. I think the only way I could be with someone is if they do the opposite of dragging me down and I'm thinking that is going to be hard to do.. I just need to face it, I am happy and better off alone... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bewildered January 9, 2009 Share Bewildered Member January 9, 2009 (edited) I am happy and better off alone... Shes just 1 data point. I think the only thing conclusive you can draw from this experience is that she was wrong for you. They say the right one comes along when you're not looking .... was true for me. Edited January 9, 2009 by Bewildered Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stutters January 9, 2009 Share stutters GC Alumni January 9, 2009 in other words, bewildered wants you to PM him her phone number. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bewildered January 9, 2009 Share Bewildered Member January 9, 2009 in other words, bewildered wants you to PM him her phone number. lol ... I'm sure the wife would love that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mohawk January 9, 2009 Share mohawk Member January 9, 2009 you'll find the right one eventually.. in the mean time, get a dog Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NOFX January 9, 2009 Author Share NOFX Member January 9, 2009 (edited) The thing is, I'm not looking for the right one.. I wasn't looking for the right one when I met her, which is why I say I'm very happy alone. I like doing things on my own time. The most fun I ever had in my life was being dropped in Norway for 3 days wondering around by myself and having to find a way to travel 100 miles to catch a plane back to the states. That experience alone made me realize that I enjoy doing things on my own better than with other ppl. Maybe a bud with me would have been cool, but I would have been miserable if I had to cater to someone else. Maybe when I'm ready to settle down and have kids, I will be able to take what the women has to say, but for now.. there's no way I would get into a relationship. Oh and I have a dog. His name is Jake and he can get beers out of the fridge. Edited January 9, 2009 by .fx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stutters January 9, 2009 Share stutters GC Alumni January 9, 2009 The most fun I ever had in my life was being dropped in Norway for 3 days wondering around by myself and having to find a way to travel 100 miles to catch a plane back to the states.Maybe you're not able to find the right woman (whether you're looking or not) because you're not doing something, or living in a place, that makes you happiest. It's hard to build a sustainable relationship when you ('re both) just being too complacent. Some people dig the city, find the nightlife rewarding, and generally lead a cooler life than me. Some people don't. I'd take a 3 day expedition into the tundra by myself any day over any VIP room. My fiance and I met when we're leading that kind of outdoors lifestyle, and trying to transition (even if temporary) into a urban lifestyle has put our relationship under a new type of strain. Btw, she'd take the 3 day expedition, too. Oh, and wives aren't just for making kids, at least not in my feature matrix. I'd almost put that under the defects. Process leading up to it is great, but the byproduct sucks. And cries. And requires "responsible adults." No thanks. PS - I need Jake to cruise over for a few days training with mr. pickles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mohawk January 9, 2009 Share mohawk Member January 9, 2009 OH yeah, I remember.. yellow lab? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unclean January 9, 2009 Share Unclean Member January 9, 2009 Whoa, sorry to hear about your plight there. It looks like things are just working themselves out naturally now. And one thing you said really jumped out at me... she expected 100% of my attention when I wasn't at work. I'm going through the EXACT same thing right now, living with Lady Unclean. I don't think some women have a realistic expectation of personal space or time away from eachother. My fiance has been acting really irritable recently, claiming that I spend too much time playing videogames, and not enough time with her. I've logged 3 hours of gaming this week. Are there women out there that understand the concept of "personal space"? Or is every minute spent apart just a slap in the face to them, and shows how little the other person cares about the relationship? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NOFX January 9, 2009 Author Share NOFX Member January 9, 2009 (edited) exactly unclean, I'm sure some women understand personal space, but I fear many don't... All I want is time to myself sometimes.. I have none.. I want to play games by myself occasionally, I want to go hang out with my friends occasionally. If I ever got to, it would be a huge deal to do something by myself. she would finally cave on it, but then she would be mad about it... So I'd rather be miserable and sit there with her staring at the wall than go do what I want and have to listen to her witch about it for a couple days... It just doesn't work.. The reason she is leaving is because of this.. I had to let he know how serious I thought it was, so I told her. look, I can't keep doing this, we are dating, you treat me like we are married and I have to spend 100% of my time with you.. If we didn't live together, it probably wouldn't be like this and I can't keep doing this. So either we need to fix what's broke or you should move back home. Being the irrational thinker she is... She heard me say " I don't want to live with you anymore".. So you know.. if she isn't even going to try to understand what i'm saying and she is just taking the easy way to fix it, then it is for the best and I honestly am not that hurt or upset by it.. and stutters you are right.. I'm not living in the place that makes me the happiest. I work a 9-5er in the city. I want to pack my bags and explore.. I am determined to, it's a goal.. I know wives aren't for kids, but I haven't meant a potential wife that shares the same views and goals as myself. And I can't bring myself to change my life views/goals to fit someone elses.. maybe if the change was an upgrade I could, but all of them so far have been downgrades... and yes, he's a yellow lab named Jake. Edited January 9, 2009 by .fx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anonymo January 9, 2009 Share anonymo Member January 9, 2009 It sounds like you're on your way to being a free man! I would have to say that I am in the same boat as you. My last girlfriend was all about spending every waking minute either with me, on the phone with me or talking on IM with me (100x worse, hello mis-communication argument every five minutes) and it drove me absolutely mental. Then she had the audacity to blame me because "most normal couples remain in verbal contact 24/7"...wow was she crazy. <shivers> Don't let it ruin you though. I think just the thought of my ex has stopped any chance of me having a relationship with someone because I'm worried about losing my free time/identity (yeah, that's the reason!) or just being smothered. I guess just keep hope alive is what I'm trying to say. I need a dog... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Playaa January 9, 2009 Share Playaa Member January 9, 2009 Seriously...some of you guys who are married...tell us that this whole "free time" thing isn't true. Please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bewildered January 9, 2009 Share Bewildered Member January 9, 2009 Seriously...some of you guys who are married...tell us that this whole "free time" thing isn't true.Please. You obviously haven't seen how much I game. Playing time: 51.7 hrs past 2 weeks ... low because of holiday crap. been married since 2004. I'm curious what will happen after our baby arrives in June, but we'll see. Judging from Rinaldi, he's on a little less, but still often enough. There was a brief period after we were married that we watched tv together. It took her a while to figure out that tv bores that crap out of me and I can't watch it for hours on end. I'll sit down with her and watch 1 show, or 1 movie, then go back to gaming. Both our computers are in the same room, so she can choose to sit in there and we'll talk a little. She hangs out in the forums and chats with ppl. When that gets boring she watches tv downstairs. When I get bored I go watch tv with her until I'm more bored, then I go back to gaming Thats typical winter .... things might be different if we lived in a better climate. We both hate the winter, so we pretty much hide in doors until Spring. We both want to get the heck out of Minnesota / thinking AZ ... but we're tied here through home ownership and a sucky economy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NOFX January 9, 2009 Author Share NOFX Member January 9, 2009 (edited) Thats the way it should be.. Being around each other 24/7 isn't good for either person, even if the other person believes it should be that way. It just leads to arguments and them not respecting you.. They like to treat you like they own you.. I know she is looking for someone who she can boss around and someone who will jump at her command. She doesn't realize that once she finds this person, she will eventually be tired them... Well, I have to say she isn't going to find that with me. We are taking a break for a while, maybe if she changes in a few years we will see, but in the meantime she will have to find some other poor guy who is willing to wear the collar and leash... oh and if you want to buy Bon Jovi's album, you can pick it up HERE for $1.99 Edited January 9, 2009 by .fx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mohawk January 9, 2009 Share mohawk Member January 9, 2009 I must have gotten lucky.. I had 3 miller lites and a western omellete delivered to me last night while gaming.. ..although I set the precedence along time ago that Thursday night is gaming night.. most of the other time I'm on is usually done very sneakily like Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stutters January 9, 2009 Share stutters GC Alumni January 9, 2009 but I haven't meant a potential wife that shares the same views and goals as myself.Then stop listening to the lower half and don't date. If you want to travel, go travel. You'll probably find that person when you're not looking and doing something you enjoy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mohawk January 9, 2009 Share mohawk Member January 9, 2009 but I haven't meant a potential wife that shares the same views and goals as myself.Then stop listening to the lower half and don't date. If you want to travel, go travel. You'll probably find that person when you're not looking and doing something you enjoy. +1.. pack the truck and head west.... into the wild hmm.. maybe i'll meet you there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stutters January 9, 2009 Share stutters GC Alumni January 9, 2009 PS, it's endlessly entertaining that a programmer who works on DoD stuff types as bad as you do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NOFX January 9, 2009 Author Share NOFX Member January 9, 2009 (edited) lol... I type very fast and I don't have a compiler to tell me where the syntax errors are... My bags are already packed.. Seriously, I have one of those big backpackers bags already packed just sitting in the corner of my room. All I need is someone to buy my townhome and I'm gone. I also just bought my Rodeo that's paid for and I have already figured out that I can sleep in the back of it. Edited January 9, 2009 by .fx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stutters January 9, 2009 Share stutters GC Alumni January 9, 2009 Good luck on selling the townhome. Renting it is out of the picture? Contract a handyman to fix any problems, and pay a friend to show it when tenants move out... Uh, but what about work? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bush January 9, 2009 Share Bush Member January 9, 2009 What Bewildered posted is very similar to my marriage life. At first when we were dating and living together she would demand a lot of my time, but I could still game and hang with friends just not as much as I did when I was single. I have also set day's aside for "my time" and she is totaly cool with it and finds something to do. She loves to browes forums and chat with her friends back in China, so having our computers in the same room has helped. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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