Report

[dessa]

So I filed a report back on the 18th, as far as I know it was never looked at. Sent multiple messages to different board members as well as spoke to multiple admin (thank you to those who at least replied in someway to those).
I was in a game with quite a few members and four present admin including Maestro, Merc, Zero and I believe the other was peanut, I could be wrong if I am sorry. We and just gone through the beginning scramble and were playing Dark Carni and the couple of other female gamers in the game were swapped to the other team. I jokingly said I'm on a team with all dudes, give me beth or shepard or zero. Another member [nor]TheBeast suggests a gangbang. He was kicked from the game, immediately reconnects less than ten seconds later and is calmly told don't say that again. No apology in any way was offered. I left the game because obviously I'm not going to play in a game, on the same team no less with someone who just suggested a gangbang be performed on me. This is someone whom I've never said more than two words to in game. My friends, that I talk to regularly, wouldn't even say something like this to me. ALL of you guys out there if you're out with your friend who's a girl and someone says something like that to her you're either going to deck the dude or curse him out so why is it alright for this to happen in game?

It's hard enough to be a female gamer but to have someone disrespect me like this is not okay. I've seen multiple times where permenant bans have been put in on someone who ISN'T a member for saying something no way as harsh as this. Doesn't it state that as members we're supposed to have higher standards? So because he pays $15 a year it's alright? I've never been insulted in real life even to this level but to come to a game that I play in free time to relax to have this happen, I was floored. I didn't know whether to curse him out or cry. But it hurts even more that I've had to wait two weeks while my PRIVATE report sat there unseen to. I didn't want to post this publicly but two weeks waiting was long enough for me, sorry. So now it's out there, do what you want with it I've said my piece.

[dessa]

I just wanted to put that I in no way put this out there to get any of the admin involved in any type of trouble in any way. I <3 you guys and many of you have become friends of mine and have been there for me in game for many other things.

[Jerkoff]

Sorry to see you go through this Dessa. I think it may have been a dumb senseless joke but nonetheless, an apology after coming back in would have been well deserved.

[crasx]

Dessa-

 

I'm sorry you had this experience and that we didn't handle it well. I'm starting up some conversations among admins and board members about how we can better deal with stuff like this. 

 

I completely understand why you are upset and I would have been so mad if it happened to me. I think it is too late to issue a ban, but I'll see if someone would be willing to talk to the beast. He is basically threatening sexual assault which is messed up on so many levels and I would have banned him if I was there. If this happens in the future and I am around please message me immediately. If I am not please pm me, I would like to be kept in the loop 

 

You deserve to feel safe on the server and his attitude is completely unacceptable as is the way we handled it.

Again, I apologize, and I am starting some internal discussions to  fix this problem. 

[dessa]

Thank you Jerky and cras both for your replies.

I did pm you crasx more than once and was told you were busy. Sent messages to san and jackie as well. ALL of those messages were sent either the day or or within the following 48 hours. So please tell me how messaging people helps exactly? I did as I was supposed to and filed a report it was ignored. I send messages and they were either ignored or I was told "I'm too busy". The only reason its 'too late for a ban' is because of the complete ignoring of me ASKING each of you for help.

If you take offense to this post then sorry but everything stated is the truth and saying otherwise is a downright lie.

[crasx]

you are completely right. Everyone assumed the next guy would be handling it. I know san tries to stay away from l4d2 drama and he brought up this issue with board members as did I, but we never received any input from the main l4d2 guy and it fell off the radar.

 

What would you like to see happen from here? I now know issues arent being resolved and I'll have to find time to step up and resolve them. I'm also looking to add a person to help us out

[san`]

Like crasx said we are seeking help for the issues that come up especially since, being a non l4d2 player, I have been trying to stay away.

 

Like I said in the reply to your PM I asked for you to be kept informed of what came up, but I left it in other hands. For that I apologize to you as well.

 

GC as a whole needs to improve issues like this, especially on the l4d2 front. Hopefully we'll soon have another person to help.

[turnbullTeRRoR]

Let me formerly apologize as  well. I looked into  the report.  I saw  someone ask someone else a question about it and I let it drop from there since I'm not involved with L4D2.  Had I doubled checked on it I would have realized the issue was unresolved. 

[dessa]

Again thank you for all the apologies, even from those who really don't need to apologize; not what I was after. Yes there absolutely needs to be someone else to look after the L4D2 issues, especially for member against member or member against admin problems. Way too many issues go unnoticed on the L4D2 side of things and I have no issue saying so.

This is my final post on this after I've posted this I'm done with this topic.

Saying gangbang to a woman even as a joke is a talk of rape. And not just rape by one person but by multiple. Never is there a situation where it's alright to say something like that. This comment came from someone who I have no relationship with what-so-ever and whom I've never spoken to and has never spoken to me either. What ever you guys feel/think/need you need to do those are your choices to make and live with. He's had weeks to apologize to me but it hasn't happened. This entire situation has given me a headache and has honestly just left a bad taste in my mouth.

And now I'm done with this subject.

[PeanutButterNJelly]

Sorry Dessa, I don't remember it entirely, but remember a few conversations about teams of women, etc, so I think I was there and we should have probably penalized him more than a kick, if that's what we did. 

[zero0]

Ok lets keep this all in perspective.  First of all that was an inappropriate comment, rude and disrespectful.  No one will argue that.  I remember this instance and as soon as I saw out I said whoa whoa whoa and before I could do anything about it, another admin (don't know who it was) banned him from the server and I assumed it was handled from there.  But.....................lets keep this in perspective................no one was EVER in any danger of being gangbanged, it's not a swear word per se, but it was disrespectful toward another player and was inappropriate and member or not, deserved a ban of some sort and beast should have sincerely apologized.. Let me be clear I am NOT defending beast, and I really like playing with Dessa, she is a good sport and we have fun playing in the server.  I am not trying to diminish her complaint in anyway, it is a legitimate complaint, but everyone at some point in their life has gotten their mouth in front of their brain and said something stupid, so lets not get too crazy.  We don't need a new rule we already have one and beast owes her an apology.

 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1HD59hjrmt5A_nfBOt-irw4OiXhTWwkXSEArmoqwJg-4/edit#

 

It's rule no. 1 in case you are wondering.

Edited August 1, 2014 by zero0

[TheDude]

Going to break my good habit of following topics but not posting, since i feel i have something to say about this. Most of it is just summing up what other people have already said:

 

1. I agree that sexism is an enormous problem in the gaming world and the internet as a whole 

 

2. The kick on TheBeast was definitely warranted, even a short ban would have been appropriate it seems

 

3. I don't think this should be blown out of proportion. This is still the internet, you're gonna get a lot of insults from a lot of people. Don't get me wrong Dessa, what was said to you was completely disrespectful. But your reaction to it from a regular internet user point of view also seems more serious than what most people would expect.

 

Mind that i'm am NOT saying you overreacted. Just that this to me seems something that really affects you to a degree i would not expect. I'm saying this because i want to encourage how we handle this. A very repressive sanction towards TheBeast seems beside the point to me. We have no good standing point on sexism in the same way as we do on racism.

 

So i would suggest a positive approach: making the servers more female-friendly by implementing messages like: "be friendly to your fellow gamers, wether male or female" or something along those lines. I've always been impressed by what this community has achieved in its anti-discrimination policies. I think applying the same logic to sexism is the best way to go, instead of immediately handing out the harsh punishments. Racism, sexism etc. are toxic attitudes that you change by showing that most other reasonable people don't see it that way. Not by punishing someone.