getting a little life off my chest

[Absum]

im kinda stuck inbetween a rock and a hard place. though in all means MY life is in order and my feet on solid ground but nearly everyone around me seems to be drowning in mud.

 

>the last straw<

my brother called me the other night at 2am... not his kind of thing to do.. and i know he is aware of our time differences. its a strange thing to hear your older brother cry. my brother has been battling alcholism for a long time. now i dont know many who dont think its just fine to sit back and sip the tin with friends but he has a very serious problem and it doesnt help that he is in the military and almost all of his friends can think of nothing better to do with their time. it also doesnt help him that his wife is leaving him.. technically she already has and has been draining his bank accounts for months now with her boyfriend. He is in a terrible place of awkward denial and acceptance. he knows whats going on but he feels like such a failure in almost every aspect of his life that hes drowning. sadly on more than one occasion ive had to persuade my brother from suicide over the phone. be it his last bit of sence to call me. or my bad timing to call him. ive interupted several times when he literally had a gun on the table before him. its so hard to get him to hold on for one more day. and he is so far away i cant go if to nothing else keep him company and help him not drink himself to a state of unconsciousness every day. The problem is i have long run out of reasons.. and he cant find any on his own. hes consulted his chaplin on and off over the years but he always ends up in the same boat. and i know now he is in deeper than ever. with no voice to speak with but his own... and he is not one who does well left to his own devices (obviously) even now i am starting to beleave if i were him i would have done away with myself by now. but thats not exactly something you tell somebody whos out of reasons and quickly losing faith. i just hope and pray that at least he can make it so that i might see him again.. or do something for him. i mean, he's my big brother... and i wouldnt be who i am today without him.

 

i would just feel a little better knowing im not the only one praying for him

Edited October 28, 2005 by Absum

[MrDuke]

I will pray for you and your brother.

 

Feel free to vent here. When things are tough it's a great place to seek shelter and/or vent your frustrations.

I will always offer to listen to you and pray for you. But keep in mind that none of us are professional counselors (that I'm aware of) and this situation warrants a pro.

He needs help badly. Is he willing to talk to a counselor? Let's ask some of our military peeps who he should be speaking to.

 

 

Grace be with you,

 

Brian

[Playaa]

I will definatly pray.

[ConGregation]

I will be praying for your brother and you as well.

 

Many times bearing someone else's burdens is more draining than bearing your own. I will pray that God will minister to your spirit so you can hold up your brother.

 

It is kinda cool, we can experience a wonderful thing when we allow God to bear our burdens. But as you bear your brother's, be sure to let God have it. And in a small way you can minister to your brother the way God is ministering to you.

[TheReverend(c)]

Absum being being an ex-military man I can tell you that being in the military is not easy to begin with. Then add these issues can make it unbearable. Im assuming he's an enlisted man either on active duty or on deployment? Let me know. This may seem odd but the fact that he has told you or shown you that he is suicidal is a good thing. The good thing in the fact that he hasnt actually done it. This is his attempt for a cry for help or a reach out to you, becuase your apparently the one he trusts the most.

Based on the info that you have given us I can only believe that he may do it if pushed far enough. Some superiors in the military believe this to be a sign of weakness and may try to install more disipline into him to correct the behavior, that is if they know he has a problem. But most will probably direct him to the chaplain services and physiciatric help. In my time in the military Ive heard many say their going to kill themselves, and one did during my last deployment. Im just going to assume this is a situation that calls for emmediate help. Unfortunately,Your going to have to get involved and you may not like what Ill advise. This is what psychology professionals call an "intervention". But its better for you to do this than risk him making good on his statements. Here is what I advise:

Being in the military theres a chain of command that has to be followed. You will need to contact his companys First Sergeant. Im still assuming hes an enlisted man under the rank of First Sergeant, if hes an officer than you will need to contact that companys commanding officer. Usually a captain. When I mean contact I mean Send letters, make calls, send emails. Hopefully your parents, yourself or someone has this info. Being that you are family, the family support group that his company should have will have the correct addresses and phone numbers. If all possible have the head of the family support group make the call, they are civilian so his company will have no choice but to answer them.

Make sure when you make contact tell them exactly what you have stated here. Dont hold back anything. Have you told your parents or other family members about this?, if so then they need to get involved and do the same. At this point they will start to do what their supposed to and it probably wont even take as much as I stated. The military is now much better prepared to help servicemen and women in their time of need. Their have been much higher instances of suicide lately in the military and they should jump right on it. If he has these issues and he's not deployed and then recieves info that he's getting deployed that could be enough to make do it. But youll need to get on this now. He'll probably think you betrayed him or somthing like it. But the big issue here is getting the help now. Id start today if I were you. Let us know. Good Luck.

[ephemeral]

wow dude i will definetly pray for you.