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The times we laugh


Shadow Slayer

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"The price is wrong, B****" rofl Bob Barker = pwnage

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I was working in Chicago and on lunch. I was meeting a girl for lunch that day and we were going out after work to do some museums and the such so I was especially sharp dressed. We ate, went to Marshall Field's and browsed and separated for me to return for the home stretch until the end of the day. The side walks were packed with lunch hour traffic and I was right on Jeweler's Row. There were a bunch of pidgeons on the ground eating cigarette buts and bumming for change. They caught my eye because there were quite a few of them. Then one took off. It was flying low to the ground and toward me barely trying to gain altitude. It was gaining speed but not altitude. And coming right for me. I registered this. And kept watching. At the last minute I dove to the ground, on the sidewalk, in my nice clothes, in rush hour traffic. I heard the pidgeon fly past me and looked up. People were staring and laughing.

 

I was like, "that bird almost hit me."

 

A lady said, "I saw that!" and kept walking.

 

I got up and went to work with dirty clothes and a bruised ego. I dodged the bird and have had a great story ever since.

 

o0o

 

Chief

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Guest UberNewb
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There were a bunch of pidgeons on the ground eating cigarette buts and bumming for change.

This is like, the best line I have ever read. :lol:

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allright i got another one. today i was sitting upstairs in my house and reading a good book when suddenely my dog starts howling. which is slightly odd cause she never does. well then it went from just howling to singing it was the most hillareous thing ive ever heard she was like going all over the scale i was rolling on the floor. but then as soon as she heard me moving around upstairs she stopped. so i sat still so she wouldnt think anyone was there and she started up again. i never realized i had such a tallented dog :) (you really had to be there) it was hillareous. ok thats all for me

 

peace out

 

S.S.

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tonight.. just now.. hahha

 

alright i went to go have a cigarette (yes i know tisk tisk) anyway.. i had a stomach ache and i swallowed some cigarette smoke :( icky.. and instead of burping it up i swallowed it again pushing it futher down into my stomach until i puked EVERYWHERE all over my steps outside my back door.. so i came inside laughing so hard cause i look at the funny/bright side of things (like when i fell all the way down the escalator at the mall, hit my head, blacked out for 4 min, woke up on a strecher, FOUND A DOLLAR NEXT TO ME!, and had to go to the hospital.. man i laughed about that for days) anywhoo.. im sitting there telling my friend the story of how i puked.. and i was laughing so hard.. and i went to go try and clean it up with no success.. i poured water on it and sadly there was snow underneath so it did nothing but soak into the snow and freeze! about 5 min later my brother came down stairs and i told him not to go in the back yard cause i had puked.. and he decided for some twisted reason to go look at it! and he goes to my back door and there a POSSUM eatting at the snow! and he just started laughing i didn't get it at first cause i hadn't seen the possum.. and when i did i couldn't stop laughing.. so we sat there for 10 min watching the possum eat chunks of frozen puke outside my back door.. and then we decided it had rabies.. it was funny. hahahah.. now that i puked.. im sleepy and im going to bed.. night. 8P)

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  • 1 month later...

When I was in grade school I pulled the chair out from under "Deidra" (she fit the name). I normally wouldnt do something like that especially to a girl. The two guys I hung out with were known for being hooligans. So she just assumed one of them did it. She couldnt be convinced even with their sincerest objections and accusations of me. And I quote "Greg would never do something like that".

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