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Peckles

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Status Updates posted by Peckles

  1. Peckles

    Ate the wrong pie. Now I'm irrational.

    1. JackieChan

      JackieChan

      ba dum tsh

    2. Jerkoff

      Jerkoff

      you saying my cooking is bad?

    3. Cinkadeus

      Cinkadeus

      I love Peckles so hard.

  2. Peckles

    I looked at my calendar, and I suddenly realised that my days are numbered.

    1. JackieChan

      JackieChan

      ba dum tsh

    2. TheDude

      TheDude

      lol.

       

  3. Peckles

    I like my eggs over-easy, because it has the word 'ovaries' in it.

  4. Peckles

    Thomas the Tank Engine got chicken pox, or, as the engineers call it, Trainspotting.

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Madvillain

      Madvillain

      Did they eat the baby?

    3. Biggs

      Biggs

      That's a bit of a stretch..

    4. Lookback

      Lookback

      Now we know how the bathroom got to be that bad...

  5. Peckles

    I have a girlish figure to maintain. It's unconscious in my closet.

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. Jibbajabba

      Jibbajabba

      I can only assume that peckles is saying he just now realized he wants to be a transvestite.

    3. Biggs

      Biggs

      Have you ever had a grass-fed burger? So much better than corn-fed.

    4. Fairweather

      Fairweather

      pickles go well on burgers

  6. Peckles

    Does anyone actually have Num Lock off?

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. crasx

      crasx

      i turn mine off because I use it for voice chat. It comes back on at random intervals

    3. Peckles

      Peckles

      People don't need voice chat. And of what fourth light do you speak?

    4. Lookback

      Lookback

      Is that rhetorical?

  7. Peckles

    Some monks have bad habits.

    1. TheDude

      TheDude

      lol

    2. TheFirstMonk

      TheFirstMonk

      Lies.

    3. lousiest

      lousiest

      lol Monk :D

  8. Peckles

    I severely underestimated the power of a beard tan.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Peckles

      Peckles

      There I was, stranded in a lonely boat, for a week. I called for help, but only small fish responded, and mockingly at that. Eventually, I drifted ashore with the tide, when lo, a mountain man besieged me. He tore his own beard off, leaving me blinded by the skin beneath. Now I am blind and am dictating to a friendly helper monkey. I can only assume.

    3. amertrash

      amertrash

      Biggs, grow a beard, where it in summer sunlight for a month, then shave it off. For added effect wear sunglasses for the month as well.

    4. TheLaw

      TheLaw

      haha

  9. Peckles

    I'm going to make a pizza with deer, because everyone likes a little doe on dough.

    1. Goofus Maximus

      Goofus Maximus

      Doh!

    2. lousiest

      lousiest

      i dun get it :(

    3. Lookback

      Lookback

      ray, a drop of golden sun.

  10. Peckles

    I killed an accordionist. Now that polkahauntus.

  11. Peckles

    Talking to you is like reading a Choose Your Own Adventure book from front to back.

  12. Peckles

    Evil clowns are often found guilty of man's laughter.

    1. Biggs

      Biggs

      It's because they're clumsy and inattentive

  13. Peckles

    I tried to drive a flower, but I mixed up the petals.

    1. lousiest

      lousiest

      :D
  14. Peckles

    One time I studied abroad. She never spoke to me again.

    1. Biggs

      Biggs

      Peckles, I'm disappointed. I've heard this one before.

    2. Peckles

      Peckles

      I suppose it's a pretty obvious play.

  15. Peckles

    The best part about walking dogs is that business is always picking up.

    1. lousiest

      lousiest

      LOL!

    2. MPG1770

      MPG1770

      Dogs are great pulling tools

    3. TheFirstMonk

      TheFirstMonk

      I once saw a dog walking next to its owner with its leash in its own mouth.

  16. Peckles

    I swallowed a fly. The zipper got stuck in my esophagus.

  17. Peckles

    I swallowed a fly. The zipper got stuck in my esophagus.

  18. Peckles

    A spider was looking to move in to the neighbourhood, saw it checking out some web sites.

    1. Cinkadeus

      Cinkadeus

      Your posts brighten my day!

    2. Biggs

      Biggs

      They make me facepalm

  19. Peckles

    It just occurred to me that Uranus is a gas giant.

    1. lousiest

      lousiest

      LOL

    2. Hailfire

      Hailfire

      Its funny cause its true.

  20. Peckles

    I contemplated getting a third monitor, but really, who needs that many lizards?

    1. yErMoTH3r

      yErMoTH3r

      or icons...ME ME ME!

  21. Peckles

    I hate when I can read my coaster because it means my beer hasn't arrived yet.

    1. lousiest

      lousiest

      win

  22. Peckles

    I'm tired and hungry, but I don't know in what order.

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Biggs

      Biggs

      They're talking about this like it's a bad thing, but it might work for you: http://www.sleepassociation.org/index.php?p=sleepeating

    3. Jerkoff

      Jerkoff

      This a metaphor for the chicken and egg right?

    4. Fairweather

      Fairweather

      the pickle and the jar

  23. Peckles

    Playoff beard MK III incoming.

    1. anonymo

      anonymo

      You can grow a beard?

    2. Peckles

      Peckles

      Yeah, sorry. Guess that means I'm too old for you.

    3. anonymo

      anonymo

      Well I got the business end there didn't I...

  24. Peckles

    At the liquor store: Cashier: That's a lot of beer, what's the occasion? Me: It's Tuesday.

  25. Peckles

    If you wanna find out what's behind these cold eyes, you'll just have to claw your way through this disguise

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