Two racehorses were sitting in a bar one day reminiscing over their past triumphs. Both had been very successful but had recently lost form.
"I was OK until three weeks ago", said the white horse, "I was ahead of the field in the last race at Kempton Park, leading by six lengths as
we came into the final straight, and then I got this incredible searing pain all the way down my back and I stumbled and fell. Ever since then
I havn't been able to run at all."
"It's funny you should say that", said the black horse, "because I was running in the last race at Haydock Park two weeks ago, and the same
thing happened to me. I was ahead of the field by five lengths, and as we rounded the final bend I suddenly felt this intense stabbing pain all
the way down my back, and I stumbled and fell. I havn't been able to run since then either".
"Excuse me", said a greyhound who was sitting at the bar beside the white horse. "I couldn't help but overhear what you have been talking
about. I was running in the last race at Deptford last week, leading by four lengths, and as we came into the final straight I got an intense
pain down my back and I stumbled and fell. I have hardly been able to
walk since then."
"Cor! Blimey!", said the white horse, "It's absolutley incredible. Who would have believed it? A *talking* dog!"
How does an Englishman know if his wife is dead? The sex is the same, but the dishes are piling up.