Chief's mom

[Chief]

Fellas, I am sorry to say that my mom passed away tonight. You're all a big part of my life, and so I feel like I should share this. I know that that might be a bit too personal for some people on a video game forum, so fair warning. It is late and I need to work on things and be at the funeral home in a few hours, but I wanted to share the first draft of my mom's eulogy. I suspect I will be around here and there, but I am fine and my sister and I are getting through this together. We're surrounded by a rediculous number of my mom's friends to the point that you had to ask a couple of ministers and 20 people out of the tiny room to get a moment alone to say what a first born son has to say when he's lucky enough to get the chance. Anyway, we're fine and holding strong and I thank you for your kind thoughts and prayers. Noy, please check your email if I haven't gotten a hold of you in the morning.

 

My mom, Liz Thompson, passed away Saturday at 1:30 am. Thank you all for the support that you have offered me and my family over the past 8 months. She gave a gallant fight. I am honored to have witnessed how optimistic and strong she was of character. We were blessed when she passed peacefully in my sister's arms.

 

My sister shared a special bond with my mom, but in her own eclectic and spontaneous way my mom had a special bond with all of us. As we look around, every one of us can easily come up with a story of how she did something to touch our lives. So many special things my mom must have done to come into your lives! Things that I may never know. As you live your lives, take the best of my mom and share it with your neighbors. That is, I know in my heart, all she would have asked for her remembrance. Let me share one of the truisms of my life.

 

The first time my mom let me walk to school, she stood in the corner and as I walked each block I turned around and my mom was still there. And I walked another block, and she was smaller, but she was there. I walked further and I could make her out and smiled and waved. Further still and I was almost to school. I stopped and angled my lunchbox just so, hoping to catch the sun and signal final approach. A block or two more and I was at school, so I gave a quick flash. Sure enough she was still there as I walked home a few hours later.

 

I think that it is a truism captured in a child’s first adventure to school. Lara and I have had a fairly dynamic life, moving frequently and far, but our mom’s constant devotion and ready aid are the very fiber of my moral strength. My mom had a spark that I won’t bother trying to capture by putting ink to paper. We saw it, and that’s why we’re here and all have a ready chuckle for a story about my mom, or just easily could tell a story about how she did her own Liz thing and brought joy as she did it. But we aren’t going to hear much about how she let someone down. I think that my mom stood at the corner for a lot of us.

 

I will miss her laugh, and it’s a shame that we don’t hear that kind of joy exploding very often. And that’s how I want to remember her: a loving mother, a true friend, a vigilant advocate for clients, a ready ear, a soft shoulder, a gentle hand, a big heart, a soul that seemed to be able to bring people together. I’ve thought a lot about how she was able to bring people together. And I am so sorry that you’ve lost your lunch or tea date, your friend, your realtor, your peer, you mentor, your student. She belongs as much to you all as she does to me.

 

In closing, my mom was big into life lessons so I think we would be remiss not to hazard a guess about her life’s lesson. Seeing “her village,� and her entire network of friends and peers, I cannot help but see how interconnected we are. She faced many challenges and had little family, but I genuinely believe my mom’s lesson was that she was never alone. At least that is what I have learned these past months since coming home last spring. So peace and love to you all; thank you again for your love and support. You are the hands of God that reached up to catch her, to carry her and share her burden. She passed in peace to a better place, and she left a wake of good deeds behind her. May we all be as fortunate.

[Pestilence]

I'm really sorry to hear that Chief. My thoughts are definetly with you and I wish the best for you and your family.

[ConGregation]

A VERY nice eulogy, chief. I'll pray for you and your sister.

[Chamberlain]

Just as Pestilence said, my thoughts are with you.

[anonymo]

I'm sure I can speak for everyone when I say our thoughts are with you chief.

[ScubaDan]

Sorry for your loss Chief...my prayers and thoughts are with you and your family.

[the Ninja]

A year ago, my best friend's mother died unexpectedly just before Christmas. My best friend was only 16, it was such a shock at the time that it happened. What I'm trying to get at is that everyone has experiences like this throughout life and as time goes on we can let go little by little. Obviously, never forget your mother, but know she is watching you from heaven.

[MrDuke]

Beautiful eulogy, Chief.

I offer my condolences to you and your family.

 

Share some good stories of Chief learning lessons from mom, if you feel up to it.

[Fatty]

A very touching read. Thank you for sharing that.

 

Peace be with you during this time, bro. You're a good man.

[3vil]

i lost a brother just over a year ago.my heart knows what it feels like.my prayers will be with you.

[witt]

I feel for ya man, I'm sorry for your loss.

[Chief]

Thanks for the kind words and support, and for sharing about yourselves. I am blessed to have had the luck or wisdom or help making the decision to quit my job and leave everything to come home and help with her fight these past few months.

 

I am honored to have had the opportunity to care for her as she cared for me. I have learned a lot of lessons and some of them are too personal or specific to just post up with out writing a novel or something. But I have learned one thing that I hope that I can share with as many of my friends as possible:

 

Growing up I never had a moment's hesitation about whether my mom loved or supported me. I never even had a "well she'll love me even if I..." She loved me so true that I just never doubted it. But as I got older and grew up, there were times when she "failed" and hurt my feelings or was mean or any number of slights that a person can do to someone that they love. As a kid or teenager, some of those things got under my skin--hey that's a natural part of growing up and becoming an adult and becoming you're own man/woman.

 

I tried so very hard to take good care of her night and day carrying her to the bathroom or getting her medicine or treatment or or drinks or picking her up out of the bathtub or taking her to the hospital a couple of times a week. I didn't get much sleep, and it was hard. Sometimes I was short with her. I was in a car wreck my junior year of college that ended my lacrosse career and kept me out of the service and my back hurts so bad sometimes I have to hold my breat until I can breathe, and telling her I couldn't help her take a bath some days felt like a sin. One time I tried to take her out for a walk using a friend's electric scooter thing. And she was so stoned out on painpills that she just took off and crashed on a curb and fell down crying. I picked her up and took her home and never took her out on her scooter again. I'd push her in a wheel chair and run and pop wheelies and go around the golf course or something but told her she couldn't drive the scooter because she'd hurt herself. Other times, I might snap at her about something else. I sometimes felt like I was failing and wasn't sure why I had come home.

 

I wasn't working because I didn't want her to fight and live in a facility so sometimes our utilities got cut off, or we ate Ramen noodles till she'd beg for me to spend money on something else prioritizing groceries, medications, utilities, and your dieing mom's whims is hard enough, but it is even harder to feel like a man when you can't just fix things.

 

But I see things differently now. Maybe becoming a parent you learn this lesson over time, but I learned it in a flash looking at my mom and talking to her as she passed. She loved me always, true and hard. But she was just a woman and made mistakes and some of them hurt my feelings. She may have missed the mark but she never failed me. And I did the best I could, but I am just a man. I may have missed the mark, but I didn't fail her.

 

People keep saying I'm a hero or that I did something amazing by giving up my job and leaving my friends and apartment and life in Chicago. But I can't hear it. I feel like I have to tell people what I learned.

 

Then only thing I did special is stay here and keep on keeping on. When things got harder, I kept on keeping on. And whether you are a friend or a spouse, a parent or a child, you are going to miss the mark but as long as you keep on keeping on you will never fail the people that you love.

 

That's it. That's honor, loyalty, character, manliness. Show up. Be there. Keep on keeping on.

[Playaa]

don't have any powerful or comforting words...so...I'll keep you in my prayers.

[Peckles]

I can't even imagine what it must be like to lose your mother. All I can offer are my deepest sympathies and condolences. You're in my thoughts, you're in my prayers. Though I don't know you very well, I can honestly say that I'm proud of how well you're handling this.

 

Thanks for being an inspiration, Chief.

[MrDuke]

Thinkin' of you, Chief.

 

If you need a shoulder to lean on or someone to vent to, PM me.