Popping the Questionâ„¢

[Unclean]

So it's been about 5 years since I started dating my gf, and recently decided to make a move for that next step. I've got a pretty good idea of what ring to pick out, but I don't know how to ask the big question. Everything seems so cliche these days, and I want it to be something memorable to both of us.

 

For those of you that are engaged/married, how did you propose? Did you ask her parents before proposing? For the rest of you, have any good ideas? What about disaster stories of things to avoid?

[dragonfly]

I'd ask her dad, but maybe it's cause I'm old-school. Even though it's ultimately her choice, it shows her parents that you really care about her and respect them enough to include them. Dont wanna make enemies of the inlaws!

 

(what's the diff between inlaws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted!)

 

Here's an idea: bake it into a pie and then throw the pie at her? It'd be memorable...

 

PS congrats! (soon to be)

Edited November 14, 2007 by DarkArchon

[benjester]

I'm with Dark, I would still ask her father for his blessing.

depending on her personality, that is how I would pick how to ask her...

is she a social butterfly, center of attention on a night out type thing... then ask her in that situation.

does she like vacations? ask her on a tropical vacation of some kind...

is she quiet stay at home kind... plan a romantic evening around her, and then ask her...

 

I'm sure there are better ideas... but that's what I have off the top of my head.

 

CONGRATS

Edited November 14, 2007 by benjester

[stutters]

ask her dad. that's a given imo.

 

one of the best i heard was a friend who paid someone to stage a sinking sailboat in the san francisco bay. he jumped into the water, climbed aboard the boat (his fiance was on the boat he jumped off), fake saved the boat (don't ask), gave the all clear, and then had his girlfriend come aboard. the people he paid were family members, she was confused, and then he proposed. she remembered it.

[shaftiel]

Just ask her. I asked my wife over Pad Thia at a fast food Thai place in West hollywood. It will be memorable regardless of where or how you do it. Shrug, probably just me, but the simpler the better.

 

 

 

 

Shaftiel

[Brew]

i need ideas too ... i already asked the dad. good to go... *gulp

[mookie]

Who owns the trademark to this thread, by the way?

[Playaa]

Who owns the trademark to this thread, by the way?

 

GC obviously. Just like the first born of any children to come of any unions discussed within this topic.

[anonymo]

Ok, here's what you'll need:

 

1 x human cannon ball cannon

1 x helmet

3 x "dwarves"

1 x giant pie (15'x15' recommended, flavor of your choice)

1 x circus ring (flammable)

1 x can of lighter fluid

1 x pack of matches (strike anywhere, don't cheap out!)

1 x copy of "Blood Diamond"

1 x Montreal smoked meat sandwich (w/pickle on the side and hot mustard, hold the slaw)

1 x monkey

1 x Tuxedo (monkey size)

1 x a priest (religion of choice) who is not opposed to marrying a human and a monkey

3 x lawyers

3 x bottles of scotch, preferably the kind the lawyers like

1 x small caliber revolver

1 x soon to be wife/stalker/bank account you can't withdraw from

 

Now...put the helmet on the wife, get the "dwarves" to load her into the cannon (position the giant pie accordingly, please test first), set the ring on fire and position in line with cannon's trajectory, hide the copy of "Blood Diamond" in the pie, set up the priest and the tuxedoed-monkey just adjacent to the pie and instruct the lawyers to enjoy their scotch before playing Russian roulette to figure out who will draw the prenup. Now, just as the fuse on the cannon is about to go off and your soon-to-be-wife has emerged from her chloroform slumber (oops, forgot that part...well it's pretty standard anyways) yell "WILL YOU MARRY MO" at which point she will be confused and flying from a cannon, which almost always produces a false positive, but positive nonetheless. When she lands in the pie and finds the movie she will give up he materialistic ways (for a healthy 10 minutes) long enough to make the simple decision between marrying you or the monkey, at which point the lawyers should have that prenup clean and ready to sign and the priest can dispel any vile demons that have escaped the soon-to-be-wife since the whole cannon firing bit.

 

Caution: This method is not recommended for asking the father in law's permission. If such a route is insisted upon, replace lawyers with strippers and the chloroform with more scotch.

[boiler]

Ok, here's what you'll need:

 

1 x human cannon ball cannon

1 x helmet

3 x "dwarves"

1 x giant pie (15'x15' recommended, flavor of your choice)

1 x circus ring (flammable)

1 x can of lighter fluid

1 x pack of matches (strike anywhere, don't cheap out!)

1 x copy of "Blood Diamond"

1 x Montreal smoked meat sandwich (w/pickle on the side and hot mustard, hold the slaw)

1 x monkey

1 x Tuxedo (monkey size)

1 x a priest (religion of choice) who is not opposed to marrying a human and a monkey

3 x lawyers

3 x bottles of scotch, preferably the kind the lawyers like

1 x small caliber revolver

1 x soon to be wife/stalker/bank account you can't withdraw from

 

Now...put the helmet on the wife, get the "dwarves" to load her into the cannon (position the giant pie accordingly, please test first), set the ring on fire and position in line with cannon's trajectory, hide the copy of "Blood Diamond" in the pie, set up the priest and the tuxedoed-monkey just adjacent to the pie and instruct the lawyers to enjoy their scotch before playing Russian roulette to figure out who will draw the prenup. Now, just as the fuse on the cannon is about to go off and your soon-to-be-wife has emerged from her chloroform slumber (oops, forgot that part...well it's pretty standard anyways) yell "WILL YOU MARRY MO" at which point she will be confused and flying from a cannon, which almost always produces a false positive, but positive nonetheless. When she lands in the pie and finds the movie she will give up he materialistic ways (for a healthy 10 minutes) long enough to make the simple decision between marrying you or the monkey, at which point the lawyers should have that prenup clean and ready to sign and the priest can dispel any vile demons that have escaped the soon-to-be-wife since the whole cannon firing bit.

 

Caution: This method is not recommended for asking the father in law's permission. If such a route is insisted upon, replace lawyers with strippers and the chloroform with more scotch.

wow. go eat something.

 

 

+10 for style points though

[Magruter]

Asking the father is a must first, then ask the mother! Both is huge, I made my mother in-law start balling, tears of joy. But ask them a few weeks in advance, but make sure they don't TELL ANYONE!!! It just eats them alive.

 

I did the typical before Christmas proposal, that way you don't have to make all the phone calls you can experience everyone's joy face to face during the holidays. Back the story.. My wife (girlfriend at the time) has always wanted to drive through this city of lights a nearby hotel puts up every year and I've always said "No, I'm not spending $10 just to see some dumb lights", well i broke down and took her there. I was in full hopes of stopping the car, pulling her out and dropping to one knee. Welp i pretty much chicken'd out. Meanwhile i'm freaking out, she keeps asking me what's wrong, are you tinkleed about $10 just to see christmas lights." Which isn't helping my situation! So basically i ended long story short, we got to her rents house, she got out of the car and I dropped to one knee and asked her to marry me. While her parents and family were watching through the window, which was pretty cool.

 

SO YES ASK her father, that is a must!! then don't screw up the proposal

 

Good luck, what kind of ring/diamonds are you getting?

[Unclean]

Ok, sounds like asking the dad/parents is the way to go. Now I just need to figure out when. It's also kinda odd timing, because her mom is having surgery this Friday, and our 5 year anniversary is on the 27th.

 

And it looks like Brew and I need some ideas for asking... the simple ideas are good, but I was looking for some non-restaurant ideas. And the less she suspects the better.

 

Mo - what's the small caliber revolver for?

 

And Mag -- good story! As far as the ring goes, I was looking for a princess-cut diamond with baguettes (sp?) down the sides, ~1 carat with decent cut/clarity/color. Hoping to keep it around $3k or so.

Edited November 15, 2007 by Unclean

[Magruter]

Do you have the diamond picked out?

The one i got the wife is:princess cut, VVS1 clarity, D/E color, .73 ct with matching clarity and color .24 and .26 carat side stones. My suggest is stay under a carat on the middle you'll save yourself a bunch of coin, but make sure you buy the best color and clarity you can get out there. It makes one hell of a difference. TRUST ME! It's all about the sparkle...

[Unclean]

I don't have the diamond picked out yet... was planning to go looking this weekend. And cut makes a big impact in the sparkle too. I sold jewelry back in college, so I have a pretty good idea of what I'm looking for in terms of diamond quality.

[boiler]

Do you have the diamond picked out?

The one i got the wife is:princess cut, VVS1 clarity, D/E color, .73 ct with matching clarity and color .24 and .26 carat side stones. My suggest is stay under a carat on the middle you'll save yourself a bunch of coin, but make sure you buy the best color and clarity you can get out there. It makes one hell of a difference. TRUST ME! It's all about the sparkle...

this is 100% true, the GOUGE you in price if you hit 1.0 ct. stay just under or around .75, that's still a mighty good size. Clarity and color will make the biggest difference in "sparkle", don't skimp there.

 

One other thing to note - my then-girlfriend had made comments about how she liked princess cut before I went shopping (she had no clue when I proposed, so she wasn't TRYING to drop hints). I looked at princess cuts, but I was then shown a round cut with similar characteristics as the princess, and the round was hands-down more eye catching and "sparkley". It internally reflects light better than the princess cuts do. Yes, the round ones aren't shaped as interestingly as the princess ones, but when I saw it sparkle in those lights, I knew that was it. Plus the round ones tend to look a little bigger in their settings, imo. Oh yeah, and if you don't know for sure what her ring size is, try to guess a half size big. my guess was a half-size small, and I almost didn't get it on her finger after I popped the question. We had to stick her hand in the freezer for a minute, but that sucker got on that hand.

 

No matter what cut you decide to go with (and princess cuts are still very beautiful), you definitely ought to use more of that budget for clarity and color. My wife's sister has a bigger diamond on her ring, but the color and clarity is so much better on the ring I bought for my wife, that her sister said she was a little jealous!

 

*brief recap of my engagement story*

Did it at Christmas time for similar reasons as Mags. I didn't get the chance to ask her dad since they lived pretty far away, and every time before that when I was around him, the rest of the family or grandkids (my now-niece and nephew) were, so I never could get a moment alone. I regret not asking sometimes, but he wasn't at all upset that I didn't. I COULDN'T tell her mother, because she is the absolute WORST secret keeper on the planet, and everyone would have found out (maybe my wife too). The only people that knew beforehand were my parents and my best man. I was planning on asking her while at dinner at her favorite Italian place (my cover as her Christmas present), but they seated us next to the freaking kitchen where I could barely hear myself think. Obviously I had to skip to "plan B". We went back to her apartment to exchange gifts - I had taken the round container of jewelry cleaner I got when buying the ring, put it in a Yankee Candle box, and wrapped it up and stuck it in a gift bag with tons of tissue paper. I had her open it up first to throw her off (I thought it was funny at least) then I pulled the ring out of the bottom of the bag.

 

No matter what you do, if she isn't expecting it, it's a good idea to have a Plan B just in case stuff happens like it did to me. You put all this thought into making it special, so if it just isn't right the first time, you don't have to force it. No matter what happens, she'll be thrilled so don't stress too much about it.

[anonymo]

Mo - what's the small caliber revolver for?

I think you should be worrying what the Montreal smoked meat sandwich was for instead of the silly revolver.

[Unclean]

I ran across this website that has some interesting proposal ideas:

http://www.diamondhelpers.com/loveandlife/...sal-ideas.shtml

 

I'm kinda digging idea 10:

Prime a friend with harmless little secrets about the two of you, and have him pose as a psychic when you dial. Be sure to ask the right personal questions to make it look authentic. Have the psychic predict a diamond in her very near future. Then make your proposal on the spot.

 

28 is good too:

Arrange for a day at a private beach together, building sand castles or digging for shells. On the night before, write a love poem on a peice of parchment paper, roll it into an antique bottle with a cork, and bury it in a well marked spot in the sand near your diggings. Be sure you "find" the bottle as you dig together. Open and read the poem, then present the diamond from your pocket and ask her for her hand in marriage.

 

And I had to laugh at #11, since she's just finishing up grad school and her name is Karen.

[boiler]

13. During dinner at your favorite restaurant, arrange with the waiter to have the diamond in a box as one of the choices on the dessert tray. Tell her she is the sweetest thing you know and you can't resist her any longer.

 

I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.

[Magruter]

Yeah some of those are horrid! Whatever you do, don't listen to anything that site has to offer. You'll bumble and gumble you're way through it, but that's what makes it special.

[boiler]

not to mention the fact that if she ever found out down the road that you used a website for your engagement scenario ideas she would inflict major trauma to your nether regions.

 

Besides, it's more "romantic" to come up with something yourself and personalize it for her.

[Unclean]

Everyone gets their inspiration from somewhere... what's wrong with the intarwebs? Plus I'm not looking for someone to plan out everything 100%, there will be some customization to this plan.

[Brew]

14k white gold, custom made, round cut, .63ct, G color, VS2 clarity. two matched diamonds weighing .42 total, S12 clarity H clarity... she made the ring already. i had nothing to do with it... it's the wedding ring as is.. here's the best part, she inherited the diamonds from an aunt so i made out like a bandit ... ill show it off for ya: (zoom in on the first one)i wanted to surprise her but after i asked for permission her mom emailed everyone on earth about it. so my situation kinda lame <_<so what im sayin is i still want a fun way to ask... instead of just handing it to her with a handshake...

[lostoften]

Very nice brew.

 

I asked this past August, on top of a Mountain in TN. It was misting as is common at the mountain peak, but still was deceant enough weather. We drove up to the top of the mountain and then had to hike the last 0.5 mile. That way you felt like you did something but arent all grosws and sweaty like you would be if you were truely backpacking. I asked the ? when we got to the top, and she didnt even say yes, just took the ring out of my hand. I had handed her camera to another group and asked them to take our "picture" however I had the camera set up to do a movie. Unfortunately, I didnt just surprise my fiance but also the girl taking the movie. I guess it all adds to the story.

 

As far as advice about diamonds, since you said you know alot. I was very happy with ordering off of www.bluenile.com if you know what you want and taking that to the store to get it set.

 

Goodluck

[stutters]

btw, nice girly hands, brew. where do you get your manicures?

[ZesteR]

Hope she says yes Unclean!!

 

Within a year, I plan on doing the samething guys!

 

Plenty of time to research the diamonds.