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Peckles

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Status Updates posted by Peckles

  1. Peckles

    Ran out of pens. The pigs are everywhere.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Peckles

      Peckles

      Guess I had too much swine this evening

    3. Biggs

      Biggs

      Hey the ocean called--they're running out of you. Or somethin' like that... I forgot.

    4. Jerkoff

      Jerkoff

      Yeah? Well I had sex with your wife.

  2. Peckles

    If you can think of anything more tedious than editing hours of audio related to occupational health and safety, please share it with me because I could really use the perspective

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. shaftiel

      shaftiel

      Being stuck in a car with your very chatty ex-wife for an 8 hour drive.

    3. Sky

      Sky

      editing hours of video related to watching the grass grow.

    4. Lookback

      Lookback

      Performing navelfuzzectomies.

  3. Peckles

    Sometimes I regret getting a dresser when being undressed is way more fun.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. shaftiel

      shaftiel

      You can usually find professional undressers down on the corner for a reasonable sum I think.

    3. onyxdragoon

      onyxdragoon

      shaft

    4. JackieChan

      JackieChan

      Dresser, but I hardly know her!

  4. Peckles

    Just found a note in my phone, and all it says is 'strangling a goose in the night' and I have no idea what it means or why it's there

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. crasx

      crasx

      pixie dust. bring me pixie dust

    3. Lookback

      Lookback

      He does live it Edmonton, could mean a lot of things - especially this time of year!

    4. Girlzilla

      Girlzilla

      I think it means we're going to have an easy winter. That's what the woolly bear said too.

  5. Peckles

    Would it be weird to bring deviled eggs to a church function?

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. shaftiel

      shaftiel

      Depends. Now if you brought deviled balut, that would be awesome.

    3. onyxdragoon

      onyxdragoon

      Shaft likes balut? Who woulda known...

    4. Pumpernickel

      Pumpernickel

      Ugh.

  6. Peckles

    I am too pooped to even poop

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. chick82

      chick82

      Dude i wanted to say eww, but I seriously soooo relate to this LOL>

    3. walkingCat

      walkingCat

      I'm so tinkled, that I tinkled... oh well.

    4. Madvillain

      Madvillain

      I feel like NOFX may have said this a few times during his trek.

  7. Peckles

    Few things can make you feel as insignificant as a urinal whose sensor triggers the flush while you're still peeing

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. JackieChan

      JackieChan

      Next we'll have urinals that make comments about you while you're still taking a tinkle.

      "You need to drink more water."

      "What are you doing, emptying a bucket or something?"

      "Poop belongs in the toilets, not here."

    3. DiXie

      DiXie

      XD

    4. shaftiel

      shaftiel

      I'm going to say that his comment has nothing to do with the stream. Its more to do with the nozzle.

  8. Peckles

    Hello.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. shaftiel

      shaftiel

      SHHH!! Don't feed the Pickles.

    3. Peckles

      Peckles

      You're a beautiful man. Don't ever change.

    4. Fairweather

      Fairweather

      Pickles you salty old cucumber dog you

  9. Peckles

    AHH I'm so nervous for game 7...Can't sleep!! Quick, someone punch me in the face!

    1. crunchyorphan

      crunchyorphan

      game 7? we beat the heat in game 6! we are talking about the nba finals right?

    2. Peckles

      Peckles

      I'm Canadian. You tell me what I'm talking about.

    3. JackieChan

      JackieChan

      Curling?

  10. Peckles

    Our first official music video as the Oat Poets is up!

    1. lousiest

      lousiest

      Is that you :) :) :)

    2. Peckles

      Peckles

      Yeah, I'm the one with lighter hair

    3. stutters

      stutters

      no, you're the one bringing back the nail steam, shine, and buff. hot.

  11. Peckles

    One does not simply QWOP in to Mordor.

    1. JackieChan

      JackieChan

      I QWOP out of Mordor.

    2. Allanon

      Allanon

      One does not simply walk into hodor

    3. JackieChan

      JackieChan

      One does simply open the front door.

  12. Peckles

    I wrote a song about your mom.

    1. LizardKing

      LizardKing

      Though you've never met her she is a fan of your work... link?

    2. Peckles

      Peckles

      It's in the Chit Chat forum, but the link is at http://www.oatpoets.com/

    3. Peckles

      Peckles

      (apparently links don't show up here)

  13. Peckles

    When cornered, employ irrational insults.

    1. Fairweather

      Fairweather

      your mother was a hamster

    2. LizardKing

      LizardKing

      this is the worst thing i have read in 12 seconds...

    3. Peckles

      Peckles

      Don't give me that, you tree jockey bug monkey!

  14. Peckles

    See those two houses? The one in the middle is mine.

    1. lousiest

      lousiest

      LOL

    2. crasx

      crasx

      oh man, is that two-ply cardboard?

    3. Peckles

      Peckles

      Yeah, corrugated too. And I stuffed styrofoam crumbs between the corrugation for added insulation.

  15. Peckles

    Tried some new pants. Left me breathless.

    1. lousiest

      lousiest

      :D :D :D
    2. Biggs

      Biggs

      You need to find larger pants--maybe with elastic?

    3. Biggs

      Biggs

      Or just stop wearing pants around your neck.

  16. Peckles

    I got attacked by a jellyfish. Had to get a sting operation.

    1. Biggs

      Biggs

      Someone waited around for you in a van then jumped and real quick-like and peed on your jellyfish wound?

    2. Fairweather

      Fairweather

      there's jellyfish in alberta? I call shenanigans!

    3. Cinkadeus

      Cinkadeus

      There are, Fairweather, they're just polite about it.

       

  17. Peckles

    Playoff beard MK III incoming.

    1. anonymo

      anonymo

      You can grow a beard?

    2. Peckles

      Peckles

      Yeah, sorry. Guess that means I'm too old for you.

    3. anonymo

      anonymo

      Well I got the business end there didn't I...

  18. Peckles

    The best part about walking dogs is that business is always picking up.

    1. lousiest

      lousiest

      LOL!

    2. MPG1770

      MPG1770

      Dogs are great pulling tools

    3. TheFirstMonk

      TheFirstMonk

      I once saw a dog walking next to its owner with its leash in its own mouth.

  19. Peckles

    I'm going to make a pizza with deer, because everyone likes a little doe on dough.

    1. Goofus Maximus

      Goofus Maximus

      Doh!

    2. lousiest

      lousiest

      i dun get it :(

    3. Lookback

      Lookback

      ray, a drop of golden sun.

  20. Peckles

    Some monks have bad habits.

    1. TheDude

      TheDude

      lol

    2. TheFirstMonk

      TheFirstMonk

      Lies.

    3. lousiest

      lousiest

      lol Monk :D

  21. Peckles

    Ate the wrong pie. Now I'm irrational.

    1. JackieChan

      JackieChan

      ba dum tsh

    2. Jerkoff

      Jerkoff

      you saying my cooking is bad?

    3. Cinkadeus

      Cinkadeus

      I love Peckles so hard.

  22. Peckles

    I had a dream where Pat Sajak told me I was ugly.

    1. TheLaw

      TheLaw

      Hahaha

    2. Lookback

      Lookback

      How does that make you feel?

    3. Biggs

      Biggs

      I have a dream where Peckles tells me I am purty.

  23. Peckles

    I screwed up while making bread. Guess I didn't knead it enough.

    1. Lookback

      Lookback

      Dough!

    2. Biggs

      Biggs

      You shouldn't have been loafing around so much.

    3. JackieChan

      JackieChan

      These bread puns are a bit stale.

  24. Peckles

    Homeless horses are unstable.

    1. Biggs

      Biggs

      Could you then say, homeless hobbits are unholy?

    2. MPG1770

      MPG1770

      Neigh

    3. Lookback

      Lookback

      Do they ignite with too much power demand?

  25. Peckles

    I don't always finish my sentences, but when I do,

    1. walkingCat

      walkingCat

      ,..I use old jokes. © Peklz

    2. TheDude

      TheDude

      hamburger?

    3. Girlzilla

      Girlzilla

      I never heard this one.

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