life is tough

[shep48]

> >

> > ONE Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the

menu

that

> you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for

a

half

> dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager

at

the

> counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or

twelve," was

the

> reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?"

"That's

> right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

> >

> > TWO I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just

a few

> items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to

mine. I

> picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash

register

and

> placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the

girl

had

> scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all

over

for

> the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said

to

me,

> "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind,

I

don't

> think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the

things

and

> left. She had no clue to what had just happened.

> >

> > THREE A lady at work was seen putting a credit card

into

her

> floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to

what

she

> was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept

asking

for

> a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."

> >

> > FOUR I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping

beside

her

> car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should

have

> replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get

into my

> car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store)

would

have a

> battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I

asked.

> "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car

keys

to

> me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied,

"Why

> don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long

walk."

> >

> > FIVE Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none

too

swift.

> One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm

almost out

of

> typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the

secretary

> told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece

of

paper,

> put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

> >

> > SIX I WAS in a car dealership a while ago, when a

large

> motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in

dire

> need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in

> "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that

the

driver

> had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a

sandwich

> >

> > SEVEN My neighbor works in the operations department in

the

> central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when

they

have

> problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman

in one

of

> the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from

the

back

> of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"

> >

> >

> > EIGHT Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by

placing a

> metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a

photocopy

> machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and

police

pressed

> the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the

truth.

> Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

> >

> > NINE A mother calls 911 very worried asking the

dispatcher if

she

> needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants.

The

> dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be

fine, the

> mother says, I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush

him to

> emergency!

> >

> > Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid."

>

[Acid-Flux]

LOL

that one about mcdonalds is so beyond accurate it's not even funny.

[Bubblegum Bandit]

I personally enjoyed the credit card one.

[Lunk]

Makes ya wonder about the future now doesn't it.

[TheBugs]

working at a gracery store the one with the divder was great hahahah

[*BiGBonES**]

I personally don't believe the devider one.

 

if they can learn how to work the till, and count the money out correctly, then surely they must know what the devider looks like?

 

But then again, these are stupid people!

 

Edited April 18, 2005 by *BiGBonES**

[h4ng0v3r]

TEN: i went to the dog park this weekend with a friend of mine and big German shepard ran by. She said "isnt that one of the those police dogs? What breed is that, a K-9?". I had no reply.

 

This girl is in her second year of medschool, i want to know hospital she is working at when(if) she graduates so i dont go there.

Edited April 18, 2005 by h4ng0v3r

[*BiGBonES**]

I dont get it...

 

Is the k-9 bit the joke, because if it was in terms of speach then you may have misheard, or should I be added to this list of dumb people?

[VooDooPC]

A K-9 is a Police dog. K-9 becuase "canine" is another term for dogs. Either way asking if it was the breed "K-9" or "canine" is stupid on that persons part.

[campkillyorself]

I thought the "Making a sandwich in the motor home" was the best.

Edited April 18, 2005 by campkillyorself

[Kruten]

I'll start posting everyone of these types of things that I hear from my parents. You wouldn't believe how stupid most of the people around here can be.

 

EX: Our neighbor was short of the rent last month. Apparently they just couldn't live without the satellite, the add-on to the house, the dogs they just got, and a new car. How you can really be short on the rent is really impossible, as the rent is only $65/month.

[[LaW]Maverick]

 

I post this, because everyone has dealt with it.

 

You're driving around your home town, calmly coasting along in your lane, when someone pulls out in front of you. You have to pull to the side quickly, and slam on your breaks just to miss the other vehicle by centimeters. You, completely enraged and full of adrenaline, look over at the other vehicle as you whiz past wanting to see the inattentive driver that just about ruined your good day. Only, you see the driver screaming at you behind his closed window, and shaking his/her fist, blaming you for almost causing the accident that was entirely their fault. "How dare you be in *MY* road!?" is what you picture them saying as you shake your head and drive off....

 

Why do people do this?

 

[JavaBomberman]

Why do people do this? 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

"Just think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize... half of 'em... are stupider than that!" - George Carlin

[san`]

funny but hard to read, next time take all the >'s out please

[dwEEziL]

I thought the "Making a sandwich in the motor home" was the best.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

I actually saw more on this one. Seems the person ended up suing the car company for not properly explaining what "cruise control" entailed. BTW, he won his suit.

[campkillyorself]

Only, you see the driver screaming at you behind his closed window, and shaking his/her fist, blaming you for almost causing the accident that was entirely their fault.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Dane Cook,

"Why did you stop at a red light and let me hit you doing 80!? Why did you stop at a red light!?"

[Brillow_Head]

Yeah Dweeze, I heard of that suit...guy buys a winibago with cruise control, goes on a trip, sets the cruise control, then goes in the back to make a sandwitch. Needless to say the vehicle crashed and he sues winibago for not explaining what cruise control means. He wins a crud ton of money, a new motor home, and now (supposevly) every owners manual now has a disclaimer that cruise control will not drive the vehicle for you.

Edited April 19, 2005 by Brillow_Head

[VooDooPC]

Dane Cook,

        "Why did you stop at a red light and let me hit you doing 80!? Why did you stop at a red light!?"

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Dane Cook is one of the best comedians i know.

 

"Where are my shoes, where are my shoes!? Shoes, mom, shoes! Someone could be dead outside!"

 

 

Luckily for me i don't live near people that are all that stupid. But i am comparing them to my self so maybe i am stupid and just don't know it...

[Wolfsblood]

I actually saw more on this one.  Seems the person ended up suing the car company for not properly explaining what "cruise control" entailed.  BTW, he won his suit.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

 

Actually, that's an urban legend. There is no actual proof that a case was brought against a car or motorhome dealer/manufacturer for this, at least none that my brother, or father (both attorneys) could find in court records.

 

However, it isn't out of the realm of possibility that someone could be that stupid, but since cruise control has been around for so long in cars, it would seem that by the time you bought a motorhome, you would've already used cruise, at least once...

[Fatty]

That's mentioned partway down here: http://www.snopes.com/legal/lawsuits.asp

[Cranky Bullfrog]

Change would be nice......

 

I drove into a McDonald's a couple of years ago and ordered the usual. The clerk told me over the shout-a-com that it would be $4.76. I drop up to the payment window and handed the kid a five dollar bill along with a mysterious penny. The kid looked at the penny a moment, looked at me, looked at the penny, then handed it back to me saying "you gave me too much". He then proceeded to count me out 24 cents. I added the penny back to the pile he gave me and said "could you please give me a quarter for this?". "Oh sure thing" was his reply.......

 

Years ago (make that YEARS ago), a friend and I went to the movie theater. The tickets (believe it or not) were $3 each. I handed the ticket agent (a young girl) a fresh crisp ten dollar bill plus an extra $1. She just looked at me funny, counted out my change and handed all five $1 bills back to me. I handed them right back and said "could you give me a five for this?". "No problem" she chirped.

 

The lights are on.... but nobody is home.....

 

Then my all time favorite and this is a true story. I used to work (again, many years ago) in a chemical plant. When PCs first came into widespread use, one of the secretaries of a department head called our department with a problem (we did PC support). She said she could not read the data on her floppy disk and she had just participated in the PC training class the day before. Realizing that something was amiss, my friend Wayne talked her through all the usual stuff - label side up, slotted end goes in first, notch to the left, etc. (remember, this was a real 5-1/4" floppy disk). No luck. Wayne hops in the electric car and drives over to the opposite end of the plant...... only to find....... that she was putting the floppy disk in the drive expertly.... but she wasn't closing the door......

 

Sometimes.... when I look into your eyes...... I sense someone else is driving.....

 

We also had a secretary for a department head who would thumbtack her floppy disk to the peg board beside her computer workstation. She did this for months - usually placing the pin through the corner of the disk (thus missing the little circular magnetic frisbee inside). But one fateful day, she stabbed it in the heart and then was indignant that we, the computer support department, said we could NOT recover her data! (jerks!)

 

"Stupid"..... is usually a self limiting problem

 

"Here's your sign!"

 

Cranky

[Vijorn]

its not so bad; smart people are breeding right along side stupid ones... the problem is that the stupid ones are breeding faster....

[Gond]

I worked for a guy a while ago who told this story.

 

He used to go help his buddy with his computer problems. One day they guy calls & says that he wanted to restore some files but his backup disk was blank. So, my boss went over to his house & said "Show me how you do your backups". The guy goes through all the steps...putting the disk in...running the backup program...when it's done he takes the disk out and sticks it to the side of the fridge with a magnet.