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Peckles

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Status Updates posted by Peckles

  1. Peckles

    I tried to buy an ion, but the cashier said for me, no charge.

    1. Biggs

      Biggs

      Buying a cation would have been a more positive experience.

    2. walkingCat

      walkingCat

      :D

       

  2. Peckles

    I tried to drive a flower, but I mixed up the petals.

    1. lousiest

      lousiest

      :D
  3. Peckles

    I tried to make a time machine, but thanks to homophones, I now have a lot of herbs.

  4. Peckles

    I tried using a changing table once, but the baby was still a baby in the end

    1. turnbullTeRRoR

      turnbullTeRRoR

      dang yours was broke as well?

  5. Peckles

    I used to be a birdwatcher like you, then I took a sparrow to the knee.

    1. onyxdragoon

      onyxdragoon

      No.

    2. JackieChan

      JackieChan

      I used to laugh at arrow in the knee jokes, then I took an over-saturated joke to the sense of humor.

  6. Peckles

    I walked in on someone in the shower. It was aquard.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Biggs

      Biggs

      That curtainly aquard, indEEd

    3. TheLaw

      TheLaw

      sounds sexy

    4. shaftiel

      shaftiel

      Move out of the YMCA. That should fix your problem

  7. Peckles

    I was accused of being a draft-dodger. But really, I just don't like wind.

  8. Peckles

    I was fixing a speaker in one of the barns at work, and the horse next to me pooped, licked its leavings, licked my ladder, then stared at me. Horses are jerks.

    1. BrohamMC

      BrohamMC

      LOLZ thats fuuunny! he might not be a horse he could be a jackass

       

    2. BrohamMC

      BrohamMC

      just a thought

       

    3. Jibbajabba

      Jibbajabba

      He just wanted to let you know he disapproved of you climbing the corporate ladder peklz.

  9. Peckles

    I wrote a song about your mom.

    1. LizardKing

      LizardKing

      Though you've never met her she is a fan of your work... link?

    2. Peckles

      Peckles

      It's in the Chit Chat forum, but the link is at http://www.oatpoets.com/

    3. Peckles

      Peckles

      (apparently links don't show up here)

  10. Peckles

    I'd go to Thailand, but it sounds too formal.

    1. Biggs

      Biggs

      Don't worry, when you get to Bangkok, you'll realize the formality is just a front

  11. Peckles

    I'd take advice from skunks any day. They just make sense.

    1. boiler

      boiler

      Scents?

  12. Peckles

    I'll make my OWN FragFest! With Blackjack! And..ahh, screw it.

    1. glgl

      glgl

      PeeeeeeklzzzZZzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ :)

    2. Fairweather

      Fairweather

      OoooRGllEeeeee

       

    3. turnbullTeRRoR

      turnbullTeRRoR

      No one showed up to FFF fragfestFayetteville either *sadface

  13. Peckles

    I'm an amputea pot, short and stout; Here is my handle, where is my spout?

  14. Peckles

    I'm going to have to turn my back on you.

  15. Peckles

    I'm going to make a pizza with deer, because everyone likes a little doe on dough.

    1. Goofus Maximus

      Goofus Maximus

      Doh!

    2. lousiest

      lousiest

      i dun get it :(

    3. Lookback

      Lookback

      ray, a drop of golden sun.

  16. Peckles

    I'm going to tighten my belt. I suggest you do the same.

  17. Peckles

    I'm gonna get cozy with my PJs. Don't wait up.

  18. Peckles

    I'm hitting myself with a hammer because it feels so good when I stop.

    1. walkingCat

      walkingCat

      Dr. Meredith Grey: Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know; maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop.

    2. walkingCat

      walkingCat

      Grey's Anatomy

  19. Peckles

    I'm so tired I can't even think of puns... See??

    1. Biggs

      Biggs

      Nope, don't believe it

    2. Girlzilla

      Girlzilla

      Get up off your bun and make a pun!

    3. Peckles

      Peckles

      I'm not on a bun, but I am...in...bread....

  20. Peckles

    I'm tired and hungry, but I don't know in what order.

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Biggs

      Biggs

      They're talking about this like it's a bad thing, but it might work for you: http://www.sleepassociation.org/index.php?p=sleepeating

    3. Jerkoff

      Jerkoff

      This a metaphor for the chicken and egg right?

    4. Fairweather

      Fairweather

      the pickle and the jar

  21. Peckles

    I'm very stinky. (using my pre-existing stinkiness as the initial value of not quite as stinky)

    1. MPG1770

      MPG1770

      smell ya later

  22. Peckles

    I'm wearing funderpants.

    1. Cinkadeus

      Cinkadeus

      I only wear mine in my fungeon.

    2. yErMoTH3r

      yErMoTH3r

      Get JC outa there...

    3. shaftiel

      shaftiel

      At least he will be fundamentally supported

  23. Peckles

    I've had amnesia for as long as I can remember

  24. Peckles

    If excrement is poop, increment is food

    1. Pumpernickel

      Pumpernickel

      i c what u did there.

    2. Lookback

      Lookback

      What is 'crement'?

    3. Peckles

      Peckles

      It's like cement, but you can put it on your toast

  25. Peckles

    If I remote desktop into a computer, then remote desktop back into the first computer, will the universe explode?

    1. Leonebluen

      Leonebluen

      Compuception.

      It'd be funny to do to someone, because it'd infinitely loop their mouse movements.

    2. crasx

      crasx

      no but your computer would

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