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Away Messages!


EbilDustBunny

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i'm working...which kinda defies physics because it both sucks and *edited for content...think opposite of sucking* at the same time...

 

%n, it's ok, half the people in the world are below average too.

 

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."

 

Poof be gone, your breath is too strong, I don't wanna be mean, but you need listerine, not a sip, not a swallow, but the whole friggin bottle

 

You can always retake a class but you can never relive a party. (sadly im at class)

 

I called your boyfriend *edited for content...think very femenine male* and he hit me with his purse!

 

 

Scientists say that one of every four people is insane...so think of your three closest friends, if they seem fine well its you!!

 

*****"Real Men of Genius. Today we salute you Mr. Compulsive Away Message Checker. While most people are out actually having fun, you are at home reading about it on your computer screen. Right mouse click, Get Buddy Info, or the little Info box at the bottom of the Buddy List [whichever is faster]. You have people on that list you haven't talked to in years, but you still loyally read their away messages everyday to see what they are up to [borderline stalking]. So, crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Marauder of the Mousepad and don't wander too far from your computer because you never know when someone's away message may change."**** ***best one evar***

 

this one is for [VI]-- The Village called and said they were looking for %n. They're missing their idiot.

 

Well the voices and I, we took a vote, and its unanimous...YOU *edited for content...think of a vacuum*!

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*****"Real Men of Genius. Today we salute you Mr. Compulsive Away Message Checker. While most people are out actually having fun, you are at home reading about it on your computer screen. Right mouse click, Get Buddy Info, or the little Info box at the bottom of the Buddy List [whichever is faster]. You have people on that list you haven't talked to in years, but you still loyally read their away messages everyday to see what they are up to [borderline stalking]. So, crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Marauder of the Mousepad and don't wander too far from your computer because you never know when someone's away message may change."****    ***best one evar***

That is a pretty good one, if I do say so myself.

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Shaking a tit.

 

Shaking a tower.

 

Be back around %t ish.

 

I'm not here, but I'm actually very close to you, check your sisters bedroom.

 

Just keep sending me stuff, I'm prolly just sitting here reading it not wanting to talk to you.

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If this is my mom, I'm at the library studying. If this (one of the guys), I'm at the gym. If this (insert special lady friend), I am at work making money to buy you all the things you deserve. If this is IRS, I am deceased.

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