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I'm gonna mess w/ preacher's config and piggyback max framerate 1 to his left button and maxframerate 100 to his right button.  He'll be lucky to hit anything.

Preach I should be on tonight after I listen to Slim Whitman's greatest hits and I watch the best of H.R. Puff'n'Stuff.

Finally an excuse that makes sense, lying about sun glare at 2am just wasn't flying thanks Duke lol

 

G@!den just a quicky here: When Rev Jimmy Swaggart fell away and got caught with the prostitute in the 80's he had the largest church in the U.S. Shortly after he had barely 100 people in a church that could fit over 7500. He screwed up and those who left the church found new homes at different and better churches, but those that left the faith had put thier hopes in a man rather than in God. See as a pastor I realize that some people look to me for salvation at times, but I am quick to say that if your faith is put in me I will eventually fail you but put your faith in the Heavenly Father and you will always be blessed in the end. Stay with that church if the pastor is out because healing is easier within a group. If that pastor is still there feel free to head down the street. It's America after all and the freedom of Religeon covers which church you choose to attend also. If you need help finding a church PM me and I'll help you out. If you live in the metro St. Louis area you can come attend my services. :D

 

Excellent post Preach!!! I love it.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Update:

 

Danielle had her chemo on Thursday and we received her lab counts today. Her white cell count is dangerously low so we're in 'cautious' mode. We had a fun weekend though. Lots of laughing and running and jumping.

Her appetite is up because it is steroid week. The typical conversation is:

"Can I have some bologna and cheese?"

"You just ate dinner an hour ago!"

"I'm really hungry Daddy!"

"Did you eat all your dinner?"

"Yes. I'm still hungry"

"Sigh...steroids. Ok, let's go to the fridge"

 

She's more energetic, happier, talkative--everything you could hope for. I could get used to this!!

 

I've said this before, my irrational fear is to become like all the other cancer families where everything looks good for a while and then the cancer comes back with a vengence. I really worry about it and I pray that my daughter is spared. Nothing I can do, though. I received good advice: Worry about the things you can control.

I just appreciate each interaction like it's the last time we'll talk. Usually that's around bedtime since I work all day. I cry when I think like this but it makes each interaction even more special. What else can you do?

 

When you tuck your kids in tonight, look into their eyes--I mean REALLY LOOK. Notice the sparkle, the beauty, the innocence. Look at their eyebrows. Look at their smiles. Take it all in and appreciate it, nuture it, love it.

It's a gift.

 

That's all.

 

Go find 'em and hug 'em!!!

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She was running around with Fatty's kids on Sunday, she looks really good, you would never know she's sick. She is a little tank.

 

And GOTTA love those dimples!!!

 

It's impossible to put yourself in his shoes, but even as close as I can come is terrifying, but when you see them all together, they are a happy, thankful, family. (Well, not so happy sometimes for Duke now that Kel is pregnant and cranky) :ignore:

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  • 2 weeks later...

Update:

 

Danielle is doing well, all things considered. She still has hip/leg pain, but that's about it. No news is good news.

 

I wanted to tell everyone to plan on taking your family/spouse/friends/whoever to Chili's on Sept 26th. All procedes to go St Judes for children's cancer research. The more you eat, the more my kid benefits. How cool is that???

The only people I don't expect to be there are Bub, Fat & Mini. Everyone else better go.

Not every Chili's is participating so please call ahead to make sure.

 

Kel is doing well and I'm supposed to tell Clue that she's not a mean, hateful, spiteful, evil pregnant woman... people just mis-understand her, that's all.

 

Go give your kids a big hug.

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LOL, i never for a second thought she was, actually, quite the opposite, she's a heck of a nice lady. Anytime that she is grumpy, I blame you, lol.

 

Lemme know if youre going, and to what Chili's, and i'll show up. No wife/girlfriend, so I'll have to bother you guys :)

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Danielle is due to get a spinal chemo treatment along with her monthly chemo.

She's strong, what else can I say. I'm so proud--and afraid.

I don't know if the fear ever goes away. It's kind of like waiting to be called on in class to give your speech. You know it's possible your name will be called next. When it happens you just go through the motions, what choice do you have? That's kind of the fear and anxiety I'm feeling. I just pray her name, her time, is never called. It's terrifying at times.

 

She had her first day of pre-school without parents today. She's so proud! She sticks her chest out and smiles ear to ear while saying, "I'm a BIG girl!!"

 

The anger and rage is coming back, bad. I have no patience for ignorance, arrogance or the like. I'm really spouting off when I should keep my mouth shut--gotta work on that.

 

I try to hide the anger as best I can, especially when I'm with Danielle. I sing to Danielle almost every night and while I sing I just gaze into her eyes. They're so strong, yet so frail. Her smile melts me and the anger goes away for a little bit. The irrational thoughts creep into my head and I just think, this could be the last time I see her smile, or her giggle, or her eyes. It makes me crazy. I'm just waiting for the hammer to drop, for the news to come. It drains you.

 

On the flip side, I still do appreciate everything that surrounds me. You take for granted that you can just drive to a hospital, get your spinal and come home. What are the children in New Orleans doing? I don't know. I just don't know.

 

Appreciate what you have. Scoop those kids up and hug them, read to them, sing to them, laugh with them. Really open your eyes and ears and take it all in.

 

Pray for those in need. In fact, do more than pray. Donate money, blood, food, whatever. Get off your arse and make a difference in this world. Do what's right.

 

God Bless,

Duke

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Anger and rage are natural in your situation, don't be ashamed of it. The way you write these posts, it seems it's theraputic, maybe keep a personal journal at home, and just go off in it every night,that is, if you dont already do that.

 

Another thing that helped me in hard times was an 80lb heavy bag, man, I beat the CRAP out of that thing, and it never gets tired of accepting your rage,lol.

 

Danielle is a strong little girl, I truly believe that she is going to come out of all this, healthy and tough as nails.

 

Stay strong man, if you wanna grab a few beers one night and blow off some steam, just call me.

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Another thing that helped me in hard times was an 80lb heavy bag, man, I beat the CRAP out of that thing, and it never gets tired of accepting your rage,lol.

 

I could'nt agree more Clueless! Duke, this might sound mean or selfish,

but you NEED to take a little time out for yourself to release some of this

steam your aquiring. Get a bag like clueless mentioned & take Danielle with

you downstairs to pound on it. (only take Danielle if your not going to lose it!)

You need something like this. Join Fatty & Bubblegum Bandit in their futile

efforts to be 16 again!! LOL! Above all else....

 

HANG IN THERE BUDDY!!!!!

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I vent playing CS. As long as I don't have to deal with too much ignorance, I'm ok. I gotta tell you though, I was SCREAMING at my monitor at 1 a.m. last night because some noob was camping up in the T sniper perch on cbble. Last guy, no bomb, no movement, nothing. Just sitting there waiting for a CT goober to blindly wander into his sights. You know, something like Preacher would do. Anyhow, all the CTs were guarding the bomb as expected and there was a good 1:30 to go. I was SCREAMING," YOU BETTER PRAY TO GOD MY POWER GOES DOWN IN THE NEXT 10 SECONDS CUZ I'M PROCESSING THE BAN RIGHT NOW!!!!!"

That's therapeutic, right?

 

 

Special shout out to Pope who sent Danielle a sentimental hat. Now, being a hardcore Steelers fan it caused a great deal of anguish when I opened the box (to my wife's delight) and saw a Cleveland Brown's hat. So I'm thinking this is a joke, Pope is truly messing with me. I have no problem having my admin rights suspended for 1 month if I can just get a chance to be on a server with Pope for 1 minute. :D

But this is about Danielle, right? Sure the colors don't match and the team is ranked 32nd overall...so what. It's all about Danielle. If she's happy, I'm happy. If shredding the hat makes me..I mean...her happy, then I'm happy. :lol2:

 

I'll get a pic up as soon as I can Pope. She loves ball-cap style hats so I know she'll like this one. Thank you, brother!!!

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Duke, let's get together, we're long overdue!

 

Wayfarer, I'm going for more like 18-19...you're 23 days younger than I am....don't make me drag you into the virtual workout room too for a race or a posedown or something silly! :D

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don't make me drag you into the virtual workout room too for a race or a posedown or something silly! :D

 

 

Now there's a scary thought!!

 

 

Serously though Duke, you've got one amazing family there. I think these guys are right when you gotta take time to be a little selfish. It doesn't mean you're taking time away from being there for her, just that you're making sure you can be there for her. BTW, feel free to use me as target practive whenever you're in the server man! Even if you gotta freeze me to do it :lol2:

 

 

EDIT: I can't spell for nothing :freak:

Edited by Ice_Berge_00
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Duke, let's get together, we're long overdue!

 

Wayfarer, I'm going for more like 18-19...you're 23 days younger than I am....don't make me drag you into the virtual workout room too for a race or a posedown or something silly! :D

 

 

I just spent 1/2 hour chatting w/ Mrs. Fatty. We're trying to get us all together for dinner.

How about a round of golf and dinner afterwards? I'll check w/ my social director.

 

 

TY Ice. Freezing you is about the only way I can kill you. Last night I remember hiding in the little closet with a shotty on inferno, seeing you 1 foot in front of me, pulling the trigger, wondering why I'm dead and checking console to verify that I did in fact MISS you with a shotty from a distance of 12 inches. :unsure:

I'm gonna start calling you NEO.

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haha, yeah I remember that one.

 

I ran down the stairs, turned into the closet to reload, then freaked when I saw this shotty pointed at my face. I couldn't believe you didn't get me either.

 

Bah, i was playing with 50 loss so we can blame it on that.

 

 

BTW, what did you think of my suit? :biglaugha:

Edited by Ice_Berge_00
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Just a reminder:

 

Tonight is Chili's night. A portion of your bill will be donated to St. Judes for cancer research.

 

 

Take the wife/husband/kids/grandparents/cousins/friends/neighbors/strangers out to dinner tonight knowing you're doing something good AND eating good grub.

 

Make sure the Chili's you want to go to is participating in the event.

 

 

Don't make me send uncle Guido over to persuade you to go out tonight... :D

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Tonight is Chili's night.  A portion of your bill will be donated to St. Judes for cancer research.

 

Website says ALL of their profits from today!!

 

Take the wife/husband/kids/grandparents/cousins/friends/neighbors/strangers out to dinner tonight knowing you're doing something good AND eating good grub.

 

Make sure the Chili's you want to go to is participating in the event.

 

 

Don't make me send uncle Guido over to persuade you to go out tonight...  :D

 

Picking up Chili's to go on my way home from work tonight, TN vs LSU on ESPN2...GO VOLS!!!

 

I will be having the grilled chicken from the "guiltless grill menu"

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