I need your Prayers

[Preacher]

Did the elephantitus clear up for ya Duke?

[emily]

Did the elephantitus clear up for ya Duke?

 

 

now that's just wrong!

[MrDuke]

I'm healing slowly.

 

I'd ask how your prostatitis is progressing, but women don't have that problem...

 

 

 

*update*

 

Nothing bad came about of this latest round of illnesses. We're moving closer to December and the end of treatment.

[MrDuke]

Update:

 

Danielle is doing well. Her hair is growing back (with curls) and she seems to be growing up like every other little girl her age. She had a few more aches and pains this past month but she didn't complain.

 

In a couple of weeks she'll have more spinal chemo injected into her and they'll test to see if she's still in remission. I'm always fearful during spinal months. The last few months is when most kids seem to relapse and we are entering that phase of her treatment (December 18th is the end).

Part of me wishes it would get here in a hurry so we can determine if she'll survive. But in wishing that, I'd miss all the little things that you experience on a daily basis... so part of me wants time to just stand still.

If you would, please keep her in your prayers. I pray her body continues to be strong while it and the medicine eliminates her cancer cells.

 

Even though we've been blessed with a second chance to be faithful to God (it's really opened our eyes to what life is about), I still find that our faith waivers. I know I don't always give thanks for the daily blessings. I see them and recognize them, but I don't always sum up the day with a high-five and a big thank you to Him. Gotta work on that.

I feel good when others find strength and renewed faith in God and it makes me stop and say "Sorry for taking life for granted and being neglectful". Wayfarer's experience was the latest in that trend. My first thought was for him and his family, and then I realized I was being irresponsible. I was given a gift; a healthy daughter and renewed faith and I should be thankful for that. I should give thanks for that every day, but I don't. I succumb to the worldly temptations and 1000 daily distractions just like everyone else does. It just goes to show how short we really fall.

 

So take a moment and think about what you've seen, what you've heard and what you've witnessed in the last day or two and give thanks for the chance to experience it. Look for and appreciate what is around you. Friends, family, flowers, laughter, air, sunshine, the GC forums... all of it. Acknowledge that you could do better, AND DO BETTER.

 

Go hug 'em up.

 

Duke

[wayfarer]

I've been wondering about this, I'm glad for the update, and my heart

shines at the thought of Danielle's curls! I will keep her and your family

in my prayers Duke, where you guys have been for quite some time.

When trouble comes call upon the Lord, and he will deliver you. All other times

give thanks and praise! God bless.

[MrDuke]

How about an update from you?

 

Tell us how things are going?

[Ice_Berge_00]

Good to hear that you and your family are doing well Duke. You're never far from my thoughts.

[whudats]

Well said Dook.

[becca48]

glad to hear that things are going good for your family duke.

[MrDuke]

Danielle is fine, but I wanted to update you all on a situation that makes my heart ache. Although painful to think about, take some time to put yourself in this situation. I think you'll come away appreciating what you have a little more and that's my message. Appreciate health and well-being. Do not be ignorant towards it or take it for granted.

 

Forwarded from my wife:

Remember the little boy I told you about that flatlined twice the other day?? Here is an update...things don't sound too good right now.

 

Hi Everyone,

 

We go to the same hospital (USA Childrens & Womans) as Jessica and Ethan. I

just received an update from our child life lady Michele Gates. I know

everyone is worried. I talked to her (Michele) this morning and also found out that

they flew Ethan to UAB around 6:00 last night. his kidneys were shuting down

and our hospital is not equiped to handle that. He is still in PICU, they

are not going start dialysis today since his kidneys are trying to work, but

may tomorrow. Please continue to pray for Ethan and his family.

 

Here is the e-mail I received from our child life lady, Michele.

 

Just wanted to let you know that Ethan's dad called me and said that he

was still in critical condition. He was peeing a little bit, but they

are still concerned about his lungs and heart. Not much new to tell,

just a waiting game at this point. He did say that you could post this

on the website and also let your friends, family, and church know as

well. They want all of the prayers that they can get at this point. I

will keep you posted as I know more.

Thanks a lot!

 

It's a little difficult to piece together, but the basic story is little Ethan has cancer and is struggling to survive. He is intubated and in critical condition. His parents are watching him suffer and may not hear his voice again.

 

So, stop complaining about too much work, too little pay, whiny kids, nagging wives/husbands, being overweight, being depressed, being bald, car repairs, home repairs, how to get the yard mowed or how you are supposed to find time to take your parents out to dinner... just stop. Look up or out the window and think about the boy who is about to lose his life. Think of the unrelenting fear he is feeling and not being able to speak a word. Think about the parents who are watching their child suffer and slip away.

 

I'm crying as I type this. People walking by are just staring, wondering why a grown man is crying at work.

I hate hearing about kids who aren't gonna make it. Sure, you could counter by saying, He hasn't died yet or God could intervene and I sincerely pray that he does survive. But I've watched many go down this road before, with all involved hoping they survive. But they don't and that hurts. Hope becomes ... painful, if that makes sense. I don't want to hear another story because I can't handle the fear and the pain anymore. I'm tired of being angry and crying.

 

It's a morbid numbers game for us. 85% survive. 15% die. Some children have to suffer and die. So here's my morbid thought process and yes, it makes me look like a monster.

We've watched 4 children lose their lives in the last few weeks and Ethan probably makes 5. But that means there's a greater chance my Danielle is in the 85% range. How sick is that???? How selfish and inconsiderate is that?!?! How in God's name can a Christian think that way??

 

I'm sick of painting a happy face on and I'm sick of watching my wife work so hard just to make things normal and I'm SICK OF PEOPLE BEING IGNORANT TO WHAT'S AROUND THEM.

 

I've said this before, I yearn for the days of life being simple and without worries. I liken it to The Matrix. I want to go back to the artificial reality where life is not painful. I'm tired of struggling in the real life, eating the same goop day after day.

 

I hurt today. I hurt for Ethan and all these kids suffering from this damn disease. Please pray for Ethan.

[ConGregation]

My son's name is Ethan.

 

I can kind of glimpse what you mean when you say hope is too painful. Of course from here things look a lot different. It's like watching a hard hit at an NFL game from way back compared to being on the field within 5 feet.

 

I've ceased to think the we or I can be a help to you. I've embraced the fact that you can be a help to me. In truth we are the weak ones.

[whudats]

Dook, I can't really relate, but I will pray for those little kids and their families. Those children have to fight a fight that no one with 10 times their strength should ever have to face, and the families have to watch as their children fight for life. I will pray for them.

 

I am thankful for so many things. Going to Iraq changed my perspective on life, and reading the things you and others write helps to keep me focused on what matters.

 

Thanks Dook. I'll pray for you too.

[MrDuke]

I don't have any better news today. My wife said that Ethan's docs said it doesn't look good.

Stop and say a prayer for him.

 

More as I get it.

[MrDuke]

I don't even know how to start this. It's not very hard for me to process because I've seen blessings in the past. They aren't any less amazing, but more frequent it seems.

 

For those of you who took the time to pray for this little boy, look what was accomplished:

 

PRAISE THE LORD!!!!

 

Today is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it! This is Ethan's Auntie. Ethan has gained 15 pounds of fluid since he arrived at the Children's Hospital in Birmingham late Sunday evening. However, his dialysis is going very well. The machine has been cleaning the fluid from his body. Around mid-day today, the machine began to remove fluid at 20 cc per hour. While he maintains good stats, they will increase the amount slowly until the fluid is removed. The doctor told Rob and Jess that the dialysis is only temporary and he will only have to use it for 1-2 weeks. His kidneys were injured but they will heal and be fine.

 

The ventilation machine that he has been on, at 100% capacity, and maintained between 89-91% oxygen saturation, has been reduced to 55% and he is maintaining around 94% oxygen saturation. His lungs are improving..

 

The doctors are going to begin giving him food through his feeding tube. Up to now he has been receiving nourishment through an IV.

 

Ethan's heart is strong and getting stronger, no damage there. Hallelujah! He can hear us when we talk to him. His blood pressure changes when he is talked to. He is covered in prayers and kisses.

 

Ethan is a strong little boy and he fighting hard. Continue to pray with us as we stand in agreement for his healing.

 

God Bless You All,

 

Auntie Elizabeth <><

 

Praying for Robert, Jessica, Gabbie, Ethan, and Sophia

 

Open your eyes and watch this blessing unfold.

[the luck of the irish]

I am so sorry that this had to happen to you and your family. I will pray for you and your family, but most of all, your daughter. Stay strong and you'll make it through this. I am not one to judge from expierence, but please, just stay strong and you will have my prayers along with many others.

[MrDuke]

Update on Ethan:

 

We had another "good" day. His sats are around 96-97, his HR is normalish, his blood pressure has been a bit high and he has tried to breath some, which scares me. His lips and tongue dont look quites so swollen since starting dialysis. His glucose keeps going up to 240ish. But it does regulate with insulin. He has had to have the heat lamps some. The pressure from the oscillator(sp?) has been weened to around 33 from over 50. I dont know what those numbers actually mean but I know when they are around 25 ish they will put him on the regular ventilator. They keep telling me that he is VERY sick but then when they talk about him I catch smiles sometimes. I think they are hopefull. God is good. We have peace. I just cant wait to kiss him and see his eyes and hear him laugh. Hear him count and say his alphabet and pinch my hand when he falls asleep. I want to hear him say "is-a-woody?"(from toystory) and "a coo a coo"(a clue a clue{blues clues})

 

I just want him to be better. I want my baby back. I am going to be working on getting some pictures on here of him, which you shouldnt look at if you will be upset. He has so many machines and tubes you can barely see his face poking out. Please keep him in your prayers. Please pray God will give him peace. He has been waking up some and being aggitated. I cant think about him waking with out crying. I am so scared that he is scared. I cant imagine him "waking" under the sedation and being in that dark place and not being able to talk or cry or move or find mommy or daddy. Oh i have to stop. Please just pray that Jesus will hold Ethan in his arms and let Ethan see his face right now so he will have peace and not fear. THANK YOU to everyone who is keeping up with Ethan and praying so hard for him. I am forever grateful. I love you all.

 

In Big Hands,

 

Jess Rob Gabbie Ethan and Sophie

 

When you think you have it rough, remember this story. Please pray for him.

[wayfarer]

How is Ethan?

[Preacher]

These support groups are fantastic because you have someone to share your burdon with. Look at all the extra prayers that went up simply because you knew about it. If little Ethan had died in April, we might never have known about him at all. With that said, be careful not to take on too many burdons. God is constantly using you here and evrywhere else you go to provide perspective for folks who think things are tough. This is a gift, but at the same time cast your cares upon the Lord because He cares for you my friend. There is nothing wrong with "painting on a happy face" because sometimes "faking" happiness turns into legitmate joy.

 

Make sure to take full advantage of recreational time with or without the family. There is no reason to feel guilty for having a good time, even if the wife is home. The same goes for your wife man, make sure to allow for her to "get away" from it all periodically. This is good stuff because it will renew your strength and make you an even more powerful witness for the Lord, and a better helper to those around you in their times of trouble.

 

God bless

[MrDuke]

I don't have an update for Ethan yet, but I haven't heard anything bad.

 

Danielle got through yesterday's spinal work and chemotherapy. Results were clear but we're seeing some other unwanted symptoms. Her eyes hurt, her bones hurt, and she has a chronic cough. X-Rays on her throat and chest were negative. Something is going on, we just don't know what.

 

No news is good news, though. 2 more spinal taps/chemo injections to go.

[TheGeek]

I'll get my church to start praying for your whole family.

[MrDuke]

Update:

 

I was goofing around today and suddenly realized that I haven't updated this thread in a while. Things are still moving along without any major incidents. Only 6 more months to go!!

Danielle had her chemo increased due to her growing in size and weight and that caused some extra side effects. More bone pain and a scare from a rash are the only things worth mentioning.

Our attention has been on the baby and how much she can cry. In a warped way, I'm glad I can focus on her and not Danielle's issues.

Everyone else is doing well.

 

I'm looking forward to FragFest, where I can vent and get rid of some tension.

[MrDuke]

Update:

 

Well, I wish we could've coasted into the home stretch without any problems, but that isn't going to happen. Kel's motherly instincts have been on overdrive, picking up on all the little quirks Danielle's been experiencing over the last few weeks. She's been scared that Danielle will relapse due to all those quirks and it has certainly affected my rock-hard "relapse is not an option" perspective. Today is chemo day and it's the day to throw 'em down to see what you've got.

 

Kel just called to give me an update for chemo day. Danielle is still in remission, but her AST/ALT enzymes are high. That means either her heart or liver is damaged. I'm not sure to what extent or degree. Knowing I don't have all the facts, I can't make any decisions or judgements at this point. That's hard.

 

I don't want to lose track of my original prayer, though. I asked that even though I don't know His plan, I begged that she not be taken from this Earth this way. I asked that if someone needed to die from this horrible disease, that it be given to me so that she may live. (I know every one of you dads out there would do the same). I asked this in the name of my Saviour, Jesus Christ.

Technically (and I pray the Lord doesn't work by technicalities), things are fine. I mean, the 'ends' are still on track, but I could use a little leniency in the 'means' department.

 

I had an interesting discussion with my friend yesterday regarding the possibility of Danielle relapsing, or worse. When asked what I thought about it, my answer was, "It's not an option." Of course I was told that I was in denial, that it is always going to be a possibility. However, it goes much, much deeper than just a parent being in denial, refusing to give up their child to the horrors of cancer.

I've only asked for one thing from God with humble sincerity and Danielle's life was it. By even considering the possibility of losing her, it shows that my faith waivers. Hence my position on losing her to cancer: It's not an option.

 

Rather than delete and edit, I'll just add to this-- it keeps it honest

 

Kel just called. She's been talking to Mrs. Bub Bandit and the doctor's office. Although the enzymes are high, they are not alarmingly high. So... it looks like we're in a 'guarded' state, which is good enough for me. Each day in 'guarded' is not one in 'critical' and brings us one day closer to the end of this nightmare.

 

I could've used a little less drama today but as long as everything works out ok, I'll take it.

 

Go find your kids and hug 'em up.

[Dingy]

Prayers and wishes to you Duke. That really sucks.

Please let us know what happens.

[wayfarer]

I sense that your post was more venting than anything else.

Give it to us buddy, we can shoulder the load with you! How

are things now? Hang in there!!

[MrDuke]

Update:

 

Things are well. Danielle has a spinal chemo coming up this Tuesday, the 22nd. Please pray for a healthy report and no signs of cancer.

 

This Sunday we are dedicating our youngest daughter, Ashli Grace. We believe in dedication instead of baptism and we will have done this for all three children.

It's easy to SAY that you dedicate yourself to teaching and raising this child in a Christian manner, as I did with my first two children. It's easy to SAY that you give this child to God, that this child is His and you are merely the keeper. It's another thing to have to deal with that thought firsthand; to come to grips with the fact that you may have to give your child to Him. Having gone through that thought process, it means a bit more to me this time. I'm fine with it, of course. But I'm sure I'll choke up.

So this Sunday will be emotional for us, but in a good way. The passion and understanding will be stronger, much stronger.

It's a good thing.

 

I just read that they may have caught JonBenet's killer. I've been thinking about it a lot and it empathetically hurts. I wonder what thoughts went through his mind when he finally decided that it's a good idea to hurt a child in such a manner. She was a precious five year old, regardless of how 'dolled up' her parents made her. And to those who judged the parents based on sensationalized media reports (myself included), shame on us.

I know she is in God's arms.