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I need your Prayers


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  • 3 weeks later...
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Update:

 

We're finally settling back into the old routine after an incredible trip to Orlando.

Danielle's wish was granted so we spent a week at the Give Kids The World compound. We spent most of our time in the Magic Kingdom riding the Dumbo ride and the merry-go-round.

Just before the trip, I bought new shoes and decided to start exercising again. The day we got there I was out hoofing it in 95 heat/100 humidity. Then I find out it's free ice cream from 7:30 a.m. - 9:30 p.m. and free pizza from 4:00 p.m. to 9:30 p.m. I thought, "You gotta be kiddin' me...". But I did pretty good.

 

I'll post the pics when I get a chance to upload them.

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I was just about to post for an update!!! Glad to hear everything is

going good. Sounds like Orlando was a good time. Free pizza & ice cream....

Bastards!! Don't worry Duke, I got a plan to get rid of ALL pizza & ice cream

places MUHAHAHAHAHA.........wait, scratch that.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I've been neglecting the updates, sorry.

 

Danielle's counts crashed so they took her off her chemo. I'm not thrilled about that to say the least. She goes back Thursday to see where they are and I pray they are up so we can start the chemo again.

 

The kids had fun for halloween as is evident above. Nothing like a little sugar to chase those problems away, eh?

 

I still have the anger and rage-- sorry to anyone that I might have offended, I'm workin' on it. :shrug03:

We just got the kids down and I realized I spent all day yelling at my children...kinda makes you feel like an inferior person. I won't get into all the details, but it's not a good feeling. I'll work on it.

 

I'll have more after Thursday.

 

Please go hug your children and tell 'em you love them. I'm going to do it right now... RACE YOU!!!!

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I've been neglecting the updates, sorry.

 

Danielle's counts crashed so they took her off her chemo.  I'm not thrilled about that to say the least.  She goes back Thursday to see where they are and I pray they are up so we can start the chemo again.

 

The kids had fun for halloween as is evident above.  Nothing like a little sugar to chase those problems away, eh? 

 

I still have the anger and rage-- sorry to anyone that I might have offended, I'm workin' on it.  :shrug03:

We just got the kids down and I realized I spent all day yelling at my children...kinda makes you feel like an inferior person.  I won't get into all the details, but it's not a good feeling.  I'll work on it.

 

I'll have more after Thursday.

 

Please go hug your children and tell 'em you love them.  I'm going to do it right now...  RACE YOU!!!!

 

 

I hope that everything goes well on Thursday. You guys are in our prayers. So were they able to go out trick or treating? Becuase the last that we heard that you guys were home all the time. Well when things get better we are going to have to all get together and have dinner or something.

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Stop calling me a woman!!!!

 

stress + minor problems = unfocussed anger

 

It's a universal truth, just say you're sorry and a wonderful thing happens, They forgive ya :) Kids are awesome.

 

I'll be praying for her this week my friend.

 

I'm making some major changes in my church and might even be allowing our church to be absorbed into another. Needless to say I'm scared to death. I know it's nothing close to what you have on your plate but pray for me too :). God loves a cheerful giver, when you need the most give the most. The old saying what goes around comes around is so very true. God bless you and your family bro.

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Becca,

 

We got a chance to trick or treat at the grandparents and at a few houses around us. She got a kick out of it.

Dunno if we can all get together because we're trying to limit our exposure to the public. After Thursday we'll see where we stand.

 

Preach,

 

I can't help callin' you a woman, I call 'em as I see 'em!! :D

 

Fear of the unknown is the worst! Isn't it?!?! If you were going to prison I'd be worried but you're going to another church so the worst they can do is...well... send you to hell I guess. If you focus on the busy work, the irrational fears don't have time to play with your head so stay busy. Don't hope for a good transition, MAKE it a good transition. When all else fails, bat your eyes and flash some leg. I hear that works pretty good when women want something...

I'll pray for you and your church.

 

Thank you, friend!

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  • 2 weeks later...

Update:

 

To recap, Danielle's counts dropped to zero so they stopped giving her chemo. It's been three weeks (maybe two, I lose track of time) and yesterday she went in to see if her counts came up. They ARE up enough for her to start her chemo again. Praise God!

She's been fighting a virus that presents as a rash around her nose. It's been well over 2 weeks so I hope she can kick that soon. Also, she still has bone pain but seems to tolerate it. All in all, I think she's progressing.

 

I've been struggling with irrational thoughts over those 2-3 chemo-less weeks. That and the anger. I'm tired of being angry, but it just doesn't stop. I still don't know where to direct it. I'm still playing CS at night to vent a little. The HS are coming a little easier now and we all know how good THAT feels. But it's just a distraction from the thoughts stampeding through my head.

How ironic is it that a poison is my security blanket? Why am I so dependent on that poison? Why don't my calculations come out to 80% survival rates as claimed by the protocol? Is her bone pain chemo related or more cancer? Is my son in danger? Is my marriage in danger?

Do I look fat in these jeans?? Lotta questions out there.

 

I hide in the shadows of jokes, distractions and denial. I guess I'm afraid of the brutal reality of it all. I don't know if it's the right way to handle things or not but it gets me through the day. If I we're forced to show my true feelings 24/7, I would not be a pleasant person (and I work in retail! Figures...) I can't seem to take charge and MAKE a change, any change. The drive just isn't there.

 

What motivates people to do things? To lose weight, to be emotionally strong or to work hard? What changes people from watcher to do-er? What is the actual factor that motivates people to change? More questions...

 

Danielle doesn't get chemo or labs for another month so until then, keep on keepin' on.

 

Chase 'em down and hug 'em.

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It would seem that you already have the main component required for change, and that is the knowledge that you need to. Knowledge and desire are the main catalyts needed, all you have to do now is combine the ingredients.

 

Danielle has done alot for me now that I am reunited with my little ones. Not an evening goes by when I tell them goodnight, that Danielle doesnt enter my thoughts and makes me remember how fragile this glass box we live in really is. It makes me thankful that the kids are healthy, and hopeful that yours will remain that way.

 

Danielle is a little trooper, I truly believe she will be fine eventually, and the survival statistics will again rise because of one more strong little girl and the family behind her.

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What motivates people to do things?  To lose weight, to be emotionally strong or to work hard?  What changes people from watcher to do-er?  What is the actual factor that motivates people to change? 

You must forget tommorrow Mr Duke. Today is the only day you have!

If you want to make changes you'd better do it now.

 

Danielle doesn't get chemo or labs for another month so until then, keep on keepin' on.

 

All my prayers are in full gear buddy! Hang in there!

 

P.S I'll try & hook up with you on CSS! Been hooked on the Zombie

server (#5) though! Working on my AWP HS!

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  • 4 weeks later...

Danielle's doin ok but I could be better.

 

I'm very,very nervous about tomorrow's spinal work...dunno why. The fear is just immense. She'll get the work done tomorrow and then we wait through the weekend. As long as the phone doesn't ring, she's fine.

 

Kel's dad had a heartattack/stroke episode yesterday so that pushed the stress level a little higher, although we found out today that the clot lodged&dislodged so he'll be ok.

 

I'll post up early next week with the results. Until then, hug 'em up.

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Update:

 

Kel called me from the clinic. Danielle's counts are under 1000, 600 to be exact. The doc said her eosinophils are up so he'll keep her on the chemo until the 19th. She'll get more blood work done then. And we'll decide where to go from there. That's good news.

 

We won't know if she's clear until at least Monday. As long as they don't call, we're good. That's good news, so far.

 

Kel's dad was released from the hospital. They're calling it a mini-stroke that self-resolved. That's good news.

 

3 for 3 in the good news department.

 

Find the little ones and try this:

Go find 'em and play with them until you get them to laugh. I don't mean the giggly stuff. I mean the full-on, can't breathe belly laughing. Once you get to that point, listen to them. Listen to the tone and pitch of the laugh that only a child can make. It should bring a smile to your face...and make you a better parent without you even knowing it.

Appreciate the laughter.

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Update:

 

The doctor called us last night and practically put the fear of God in us. Remember I said we'd be fine as long as no one called? Well, he knew Kel and I were concerned about this latest spinal procedure so he called to tell us everything came back fine. WHEW!!

I kept wrestling with the thought: I don't know whether to hug him for being such an incredible doc or kick his a$$ for scaring us half to death!!

Her counts are still low but she's allowed to be on chemo. That contradicts the "absolute" 1000 ANC rule, but it's in our favor this time so I won't argue. She goes back on the 19th to see where they are.

I'll post up then.

 

Hunt 'em down and hug 'em up.

 

BTW, Nukem's nickname is proving to be quite accurate. Everything he touches turns into a nuclear mess.

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Update:

 

I wish I had better news. Danielle is probably going into the hospital this afternoon. Her immune system has tanked and she's developed a nasty 'something' in her lungs. She's having a rough time of it right now.

 

As expected, I won't be around too much for the next week. Someone else will have to keep Clueless in check...

 

I won't mince words, please pray for her.

 

Thanks all.

 

Brian

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Update:

 

Danielle has not been admitted but we're still waiting for the fever to hit 101. She's up and down,up,down,up,down... it's maddening. Last night was a good night's sleep.

 

It's all the prayers, I just know it.

 

Thanks for keeping my family in your thoughts and prayers. It really makes a difference.

 

More as I get it.

 

 

Hug 'em up (unless projectile vomiting is involved, then just wave politely from a distance).

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