Shazz May 30, 2006 Share Shazz Member May 30, 2006 RETIRED HUSBAND AT WAL-MART Dear Mrs. Fenton, Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton, has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this type of behavior and have considered banning the entire family from shopping in any of our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. Three of our clerks are attending counseling from the trouble your husband has caused. All complaints against Mr. Fenton have been compiled and are listed below. MEMO: RE: Mr. Bill Fenton - Complaints - Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse was shopping in our store: 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking. 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms. 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in Housewares, and watched what happened. 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' 9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose. 10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are. 11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels. 13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!" 14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!" And; last, but not least! 15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited awhile; then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
akaM2 May 30, 2006 Share akaM2 Member May 30, 2006 lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mustard's CoffeeMaker May 30, 2006 Share Mustard's CoffeeMaker Member May 30, 2006 Sounds like Mustard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whudats May 30, 2006 Share whudats Member May 30, 2006 That's awesome... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anonymo May 30, 2006 Share anonymo Member May 30, 2006 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discom May 30, 2006 Share discom Member May 30, 2006 funny, but i dont think its true Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peckles May 30, 2006 Share Peckles Member May 30, 2006 Haha, I've seen a few of those before, but listed as ways to have fun at K Mart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anonymo May 30, 2006 Share anonymo Member May 30, 2006 funny, but i dont think its true fyi...shazzz is Mr Fenton Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SuShi May 30, 2006 Share Guest SuShi Guests May 30, 2006 haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nut May 30, 2006 Share nut Member May 30, 2006 damn wow thats funny... this really happen???!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mohawk May 30, 2006 Share mohawk Member May 30, 2006 funny stuff. not true though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dwEEziL May 30, 2006 Share dwEEziL Member May 30, 2006 Hehe, my gf's gonna hate you for giving me ideas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EbilDustBunny May 30, 2006 Share EbilDustBunny GC Alumni May 30, 2006 naw not true, but hilarous! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farmerisme May 30, 2006 Share farmerisme Member May 30, 2006 HAH! nice joke. I love the clothes rack one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YoMamma May 30, 2006 Share YoMamma Member May 30, 2006 Haha, I've seen a few of those before, but listed as ways to have fun at K Mart. Same. I believe the list had 100 things to do in K-Mart. Capt.Coconut, of course this story isnt real. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr.Cool May 30, 2006 Share Mr.Cool Member May 30, 2006 hahahahah!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheReverend(c) May 30, 2006 Share TheReverend(c) Member May 30, 2006 11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. Been there done that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allanon May 30, 2006 Share Allanon Member May 30, 2006 I like the loud speeker... "NO!... not the voices again!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fatty May 31, 2006 Share Fatty GC Founder May 31, 2006 Ironically, this link mentions Kmart but is named walmart: http://www.angelfire.com/comics/thejokesit...m/wallmart.html Doesn't Wal-Mart have only one L ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tristan May 31, 2006 Share Tristan Member May 31, 2006 10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are. 11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. Haha, good stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGeek May 31, 2006 Share TheGeek Member May 31, 2006 yeah, how could the security camera's pick up audio? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jihad_joe May 31, 2006 Share jihad_joe Member May 31, 2006 See Anarchist's Cookbook: Things to do in K-Mart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goofus Maximus June 1, 2006 Share Goofus Maximus Member June 1, 2006 I've got to try out some of those suggestions! The clothing rack one sounds really fun! So does the antidepressant one, but I'm afraid I'd get arrested! Of course, darting around the store, while humming the Mission Impossible tune is SOP for me. I don't see what's so funny about that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anonymo June 1, 2006 Share anonymo Member June 1, 2006 So does the antidepressant one, but I'm afraid I'd get arrested! You'd get arrested for asking the clerk where the antidepressants are while holding a gun? What if you're depressed? I think thats a good one to use imo...can you buy guns at walmart in Ohio? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discom June 1, 2006 Share discom Member June 1, 2006 can you buy guns at walmart in Ohio? hmm.. You cant in canada? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now